Last show at the Church

By Peter S. Scholtes Fri., Jun. 15 2007 at 11:14 AM

Categories: Local Music

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A legendary yet semi-legal local music venue is about to be torn down after hosting underground shows for more than 16 years. I first went to The Church, at 26th and Chicago, to see punk bands in 1991, and was told the place had been there for years. Since then, and especially over the past ten years, I've seen multimedia performances, live painting, puppet shows, 20-piece percussion bands, noise, hip hop, and weird acts from all over the world in this deconsecrated house of worship. Now, according to this TCPunk thread, the hospital has bought the property, and the building is slated to be razed. Saturday is the last show, with Skoal Kodiak, Noise Queen Ant, Last Legs, Hot Tony, Ghostface Cow, Panoramic Handcrank Painting Machine, and Shahs. Jason Wade, of Faggot, emails about tonight's show: "DON'T MISS THIS HISTORIC OCCASION! This Friday you have the opportunity to be a part of a truly historic event in the underground Minneapolis scene. The Church, a milestone in the underground music scene for over a decade is going to be closing it's doors for good after this weekend! This is your LAST CHANCE to party and enjoy one of Minneapolis' most beloved DIY venues. LET's get together and go fucking nuts and FUCK! Send this place off right! EVERYBODY'S getting laid tonight! FRIDAY, JUNE 15th: THIEVES, FAGGOT, DIRTYARD, SLOVEN, MALEDICERE, DAUGHTERS OF THE SUN, 10PM, $5 (benefit for the Hard Times Cafe) THE CHURCH." UPDATES: More discussion at MNSpeak and Modern Radio; the property's tax info.

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man, I'm so pissed off and sad that I was in a fucking black hole and had no clue all this had happened this summer. Now I'm emailing city council to get them to deny the demolition on grounds that the Church is profoundly historic. Susan was really powerful at the appeal hearing a few days ago... they moved to hear the matter at a full council meeting this Friday. So maybe there is time to influence them.. In the mean time Childrens Hospital is the most corrupt fucking pile of shit I've ever researched. They exploit "children" and their status as a charity, to develop real estate and bulldoze communities. They are the 3rd largest medical scam company on earth. Well.... if they do drive the wrecking ball there, I call for a city wide collaborative cover performance of "No" by the Washington DC Youth Brigade. You know, the one that go's like this; NNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!O! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOO! NOOOOOO! And they will forever be cursed by the most powerful shamans in this city. Anyway, there is still time to get the vote to deny demolition and designate historic. Here is the contact page if anyone has a historic preservation bot http://www.ci.minneapolis.mn.us/council/ FUCK! I'm so sorry I missed everything.....
a tear brought to my eye ...
the unofficial story I was lolligagging in bed, avoiding yard-work I had to do out back. (trimming hedges, mowing lawn, pruning trees, weeding gardens.) Sandy called. She'd fallen off her bicycle and had stitches on her knee. Come over here and take care of me! she begged. Wow! Packed up paper pens and markers, and a box of DVDs. Indeed she was "laid up in bed" and hobbling around. Watching BRAZIL. Suddenly there were people everywhere. Luke and his 19-year-old bride. Luke's ex-GF Jess, the PhD student in Philosophy (second year of a five year program) and her German-girl roommate. Jake with the cut above his eyebrow. Tyler with his bicycle. Another dude with a folding bicycle. A black cat. The apartment was humble and sparsely furnished. A noble little pile of VHS vids stacked next to another noble little pile of DVDs. A fold-out couch and sheets and blankets. Sandy is elevating her leg, something to do with blood-flow I guess. And then the aforementioned peoples were bringing in falafels and 24-packs of "Carling Black Label canadian beer" and people were drinking and chatting and asking "what is the german word for TAINT -- that magical highway between two holes?" and there was buzz about going to the Church for the FINAL NIGHT AT THE CHURCH before they tear it down and soon we're at the Church, where you can find empty beer cans all over the floor and walls that have never ever been washed or painted and dirty hippie hipsters packing themselves into tiny sweaty rooms to watch experimental noisemakers with gameboys and violins doing their thing. And a lot of people too, out front and out back. Almost five hundred, I bet. German-girl roommate guards the fire exit with her back so people don't open it to sneak out and, more importantly, not let other people in. Soon it's too late to matter. She is "genuine extrovert" material and seems to magically spontaneously meet everyone around her, from the two girls just off the bus from PDX Portland Oregon to the cute tall blonde dude just off the train from Texas. "I love this" she says. "We don't have this in Iowa." Betsy the bizarro-Sarah is there (she plays classical piano with some skill) and Rebecca and Susanne and Lindsay, and when Kevin and Kelly show up you know the party is official and blessed as THE place to be tonight. Mason, Vittum, Kyle. Spurious piano players. Devon, who has quit his day job and now "draws for himself full-time" while recording songs with a four-track, sounds like a fun way to have a summer to yourself. Sergio comes by quite fashionably late. "He is cute!" says Jess. I couldn't care too much for the assortment of bands. Apparently "skoal kodiak" is a big deal. Jenny Fischer has too many beers and needs to go pass out / take a nap up in the secret lounge/kitchen area back behind the stage. Where Allison the girl with one arm seems to live, along with many others. I fail miserably at socializing but so fucking what. Soon I spot a sad drunky Sandy who is not having fun any more and wants to leave. This sets off an awkward chain of events. (a) I need to find Jenny Fischer (b) I try to wake her up, gently, but she's really quite out of it and is unable to move. ((Sleeping on the couch with Ivanka the Russian (Lee's girlfriend?)) (c) By the time I give up on trying to wake Katie and go back to watching the madness, Sandy is in a better mood (d) Then Jenny does come stumbling out ready to leave (e) but no one can find Sandy any more (f) (( a drunk girl strips and gyrates her naked crotch into Mason )) (g) when Sandy is finally found she's having fun again. And then there is much drama of a different kind.

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