Unearthed: Lovelines by the Replacements

In honor of the recent Replacements reissues on Rhino (Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out The Trash, Stink, Hootenanny and Let It Be), we dug out the issue of City Pages that Paul Westerberg famously quoted lines from on Hootenanny's "Lovelines."

This post is best read while listening to the actual song, so pull out your copy of Hootenanny and put it on track 9. If you don't have the disc or record, you can play this weird YouTube video while you read:

The following classified ads all appeared on the same page in the October 13, 1982 issue of City Pages. We cropped out the particular ads that Westerberg references in the song. Only a few lines were ad-libbed; for the most part, Westerberg is reading directly from the paper.

"Lovelines"
Replacements

Stop it
(sniffs)
Slightly overweight girls need sex also
Send your note and desires
Means of contact P.O. Box 8941

Baby you have been along
I'll read another
As soon as it comes around

Feeling pressured?
Call Lovelines

JD if you need a fishing partner
please let me know
Visitors welcome instruction
5 generation Master Gin Foon Mark

Ooh yeah ooh yeah Kitten
Ooh yeah ooh yeah

Lurkin' lizards lyin' in the Tanners
under an oral fix
waiting for the return of the crawling kingsnake
John Lee

Okay
Grin & bear it

Fantasy Phone Swingers' Hotline
Pure silk, pure seduction
G-strings in petal pink
Hell

Attract some women
scientific formulated
spray the conductive male hormone
work turn the lights off

ooh baby, let's turn a page
Person-to-person

And it's all a bunch of shit
Wednesday, October 13th, 1982
volume 4, number 79

If you have a reissued copy of Hootenanny, you will also notice that there is a bonus version of "Lovelines" that is a different take of the song. Here is the full-sized scan of the classifieds page so you can follow along with the bonus track (click to enlarge):