Presidential Crap

Categories: Stuff

Whether you're a neo-con parent looking for a way to use your bundle of joy as a bumper sticker, or a liberal with an odd sense of humor and a sweet tooth, the presidential swag industry has what you're looking for. Here is a sampling.

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Hillary Clinton has finally backed out of the race, but that doesn't mean people don't want a stuffed bear to snuggle with when that dreaded 3 a.m. phone call comes. Demstore.com (not affiliated with the party or the former candidate) is selling these little dandies for only $9.95. Besides being offensively hideous, it seems strange that, should this bear ever go for a walk, it would be treading on the American flag stitched to the bottom of its left foot.

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And with this Bill version, you can complete the ultimate Democratic bear power couple!


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For $15, your infant can parade around as a burping, pooping supporter for John McCain. They both share the wispy thin hair and are prone to cranky outbursts, after all.


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Comedian David Feingold, who goes under the moniker 'Fat Jewish Guy,' has attempted to fuse an 8th grader's sense of humor with presidential politics. His brain child is a sweet and salty snack called 'Obama's Chocolate Nuts'. It's exactly what it sounds like. He sells bags of chocolate covered peanuts with the candidate's image on the sacks. He also hawks Obama's Salty Nuts, Obama's Chocolate Balls, and T-shirts with the name of his product. Oh, and the jokes this guy pulls out for his Web site are just hilarious! His nuts are huge, you want his nuts, etc.


In an attempt to avoid looking like I'm part of the mythical Ron Paul media blackout, I checked his Web site store for Libertarian-Republican goodies, but I was met with this message: The Ron Paul 2008 online store is currently closed for inventory updates. Due to the extraordinary high volume generated this week, we are running dangerously low on some items, and must verify our stock before re-opening.
Please visit us again soon and thank you for your patience.

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But there are a few supporters making their own products to support their candidate. Ronpaulhq.com (not affiliated with the official campaign) apparently ripped off CP's Web editor Jeff Shaw's idea in January of merging Paul's 'Love Revolution' message with Lenny Kravitz's Love Revolution tour.

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They're selling these shirts with the exact same idea for a relatively cheap $7.

I w what does it say about his candidacy that the Web site Conspiracyshirts.com is donating 10 percent of proceeds from Ron Paul shirts on the site to Paul's campaign?

And remember, fellow voters, any purchase of presidential paraphernalia from a candidate's official store is considered a campaign contribution.


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