This audition isn't for everybody: only the sexy people

This Wednesday and Friday Loto in downtown St. Paul (380 Jackson St.) is hosting open auditions for “The Great American Beauty,” a primetime reality show debuting on ABC.

Individuals of either gender are invited to audition for the show, but all must be in the 18–to–30 age bracket (sorry, no hot 32–one–olds or MILFS allowed). The press release I received stresses that potential contestants need to know that they are smokin’ hot, so be sure to inflate your ego and suppress any sense of humility, self– awareness, or social consciousness you may have before auditioning.

Contestants, all of whom should be earth–shattering in sexiness, will compete on the show in various challenges for a cash prize. I must admit, I am concerned what will happen to humanity after the ABC finally solves the question of who the greatest American beauty is.

Audition hours are 1 p.m .to 9 p.m. Wednesday, July 23 and 5 p.m. to 1 a.m. Friday, July 25. For more info check out www.theconlincompany.com.