The Wet Spot: Miss Gay 90's rocks my face off

Categories: The Wet Spot

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Image by Tony Nelson

In my 26 years of life, I have never been to a gay bar or a drag show, so attending a drag show at a gay bar would prove to be a double whammy of unknown territory. This is probably why I had some ill-informed, pre-conceived stereotypes of what I was expecting to see before I rolled into the Gay 90’s this past Thursday for the 31st annual Miss Gay 90’s drag pageant. While I planned to spend the evening watching a bunch of dudes dressed in sequins and spandex overwork their adam's apples trying to hit Celine Dion's high notes, I was instead treated to an event full of dudes dressed in sequins and spandex who threw down the most entertaining and over-the-top show I’ve ever witnessed live (Oh, and they performed some Celine Dion songs. It’s not a stereotype if it’s true. I’m just saying).

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Backstage before the show, ladies of all shapes and sizes were engaged in their pre-game ritual, adjusting their outfits and putting the finishing touches on their makeup. And yes, I said ladies. Even though a few of them probably could have kicked my ass, they were definitely ladies in my eyes. Plus, I’ve gotten lap dances from strippers who were (allegedly) real ladies that were way less hot than some of the evening’s performers. Don’t believe me? Check out Skyway Lounge this weekend and then talk to me.

Finally, it was show time.

Things got off to a rough start, as the Q&A portion of the competition nearly drove me to drink (more). Most contestants were either too nervous to form a complete sentence or they went off on a 15 minute tangent about why their mom is their hero.

Fortunately, the reigning Miss Gay 90’s Monica West and the rest of the talented featured cast brought the show back to life, dancing and lip-syncing to crowd-pleasing favorites, erasing the lameness that took place moments earlier.

On a related note, I think I might be in love with a drag queen named Roxy Marquis. Sure, I’m a heterosexual male with an unusually tolerant girlfriend, but watching Roxy was like watching a unicorn fly through outer space. Pure magic.

Just when I thought that the show had peaked, host Nina DiAngelo delivered a Wonder Woman-inspired performance of Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out for a Hero” that brought tears to my eyes. Just kidding!

(Author’s note: Not kidding.)

During the talent portion of the competition, eventual winner Shamika Dupri wowed the crowd with her Thriller-esque dance moves. But it was Shiavaughn who stole the show, vomiting on stage halfway through her routine.

Take that in for a second. A drag queen puking on stage while dancing. Yeah; it was as awesome as it sounds.

After the show, I wandered down the friendly sidewalk of Hennepin Avenue, humming Mariah Carey’s “Hero.” My mind raced as I thought about Wonder Woman, vomit and my fantasy drag queen, Roxy.

Yes, the Miss Gay 90’s pageant officially rocked my face off.

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-- Patrick Strait


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