Bush grants clemency for gangsta rapper's cocaine bust
Ever a day late, always a dollar short, and perpetually available for a chuckle, the custodian of our highest office pardoned gangsta rapper John Forte yesterday, who was nabbed with $1.4 million in liquid cocaine in 2000.
Perhaps the commander in chief sees some of himself in Forte-- like Bush's presidency itself, Forte's innocence is nigh indefensible. Notwithstanding, the case sent the best and brightest stars of the music world to his aid. Carly Simon, for example. Despite the inestimable heft of Simon's celebrity, her efforts to have Forte's case reopened proved futile.
But when it comes to lost causes, Bush is something of a patron saint, championing any cause in vain, no matter how Avant-garde. With Forte soon to be a free man, the only thing left to do is await his first post-prison single. Will it back Bush in a hip-hop first? It seems the only neighborly thing to do.