GG Allin: The Ouija Interview

Categories: Interview
ouija-board.jpg
GG Allin, shock rocker and consummate coprophagist, made a name for himself in the 1980’s by bringing the punk aesthetic and ideology to is most essentialist nadir. Boldly pioneering huge advances in on-stage poo-eating, he paved the way for other terrible musicians who eat poo like Jean Louis Costes and, oh, let‘s say, Gavin Rossdale.


Anyway, on this sluggish, suicidal November afternoon, what better way to pass a few depressing minutes than conducting an interview with GG Allin from beyond the grave? Thanks to resident Satanists at Parker Brothers, we bring you an exclusive, one-of-a-kind interview with the Wolfgang Puck of poo himself, reporting directly from the spectral plane. Gimme Noise proudly presents GG Allin-- The Ouija Interview.

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Note: For the purposes of all Ouija Interviews, non-answers will be read as an affirmative.

Gimme Noise: Is GG there?
Ouija Board: (no response)
GN: Outstanding. I’d like to start with some questions about your discography.
GG Allin: (no response)
GN: Your terrible music-- a deliberate choice?
GG: WHAT I DID
GN: Excuse me?
GG: (no response)
GN: Why all the poo eating?
GG: YES
GN: Why did you eat your own poo?
GG: (no response)
GN: Do you like the band Fuck Knights?
GG: NO
GN: I have a feature on them coming out soon.
GG: (no response)
GN: Do you eat your own poo in heaven?
GG: YES
GN: What’s with that?
GG: SOMETIMES
GN: (no response)
GG: IT FLIES
GN: The poo?
GG: (no response)
GN: Thoughts on the election?
GG: NAD
GN: A Nader man, are you?
GG: YES.
GN: I don’t know what to say.
GG: NOTHING.
GN: My condolences, I suppose.
GG: J
GN: I think I bumped the pointer.
GG: (no response)
GN: Do you hang out with Darby Crash?
GG: NO.
GN: I wouldn't either. He's such a mess.
GG: YES.
GN: Do you--
GG: PORTMA.
GN: (no response)
GG: (no response)
GN: Played Fallout 3 yet?
GG: IT FUCK.
GN: I don't think this is going very well.
GG: GOODBYE.

To see how GG represented himself in life, treat yourself to this gem from the Springer show. Clearly, he is not a man greatly benefited by pulse and breath.


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