Instant Mash: Could Girl Talk do it this well?

Browse Girl Talk's tracklist for Night Ripper or Feed The Animals (the "just-add-beer" party starter behind which he is currently touring), and you'll find nothing so formulaic as what's offered on so many mix tapes and FM playlists. But in this ephemeral world, where beats are train-wrecked with greater speed and efficiency than Virgin Rail on its worst day, DJ's often can't afford Gregg Gilles' care in crafting a title. For that matter, neither can lowly freelancers, at least not when it comes to scoring a few cheap laughs on a Monday morning. Here's some choice titles to tide you ever until Girl Talk's show tonight at First Avenue.

David Hansen's picks:

Velvet Underground vs. Bing Crosby-- White Light, White Christmas

Randy Newman vs. Professor X-- Mama Told Me Not To Cum

Buster Poindexter vs. Rudy Ray Moore-- Hot Hot Hot Nuts

Led Zepplin vs. soft drink Mountain Dew Code Red-- Misty Mountain Dew Code Red

Allan Sherman vs. The Cars-- Hello, Muddah, Hello, Again

Alan Menkin vs. Belle and Sebastian-- Suddenly, Seymour Stein

Juan Berenguer, relief pitcher for the 1987 Minnesota Twins, vs. K.C. And The

Sunshine Band-- I’m Your Berenguer Boogie Man

Jimmi Hendrix vs. film actress Meg Ryan-- Hey Joe Versus the Volcano

Ian Traas' picks:

Lil' Wayne "Got Money" vs. Darius Rucker "Don't Think I Don't Think About It" - "Don't Think I Got Money"

Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get Retarded" vs. Glen Frey's "You Belong to the City" - "You Belong to the Retarded"

Jay-Z "Dead Presidents" vs. Katy Perry "I Kissed a Girl" - "I Kissed a Dead President"

Diana Ross "Love Hangover" vs. Master P "Make Crack Like This" - "Love This Crack Hangover"

Akon "Sorry, Blame it on Me" vs. The Charlie Daniels Band "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" - "Sorry, the Devil Went Down on Me"

Cyndi Lauper "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" vs. Sugar Hill Gang "Rapper's Delight" - "Girls Just Want Rappers"

Scissor Sisters "Mary" vs. U2 "Sunday Bloody Sunday" - "Sunday Bloody Mary"

Eminem "Role Model" vs. Radiohead "Fake Plastic Trees" - "Fake Plastic Model"

The Clash "London Calling" vs. No Doubt "Ex Girlfriend" - "Ex Girlfriend Calling"

Joy Division "Love Will Tear Us Apart" vs. Coolio "Gangsta's Paradise" - "Gangstas Will Tear Us Apart"

CSS "Music is My Hot Hot Sex" vs. Bob Marley "No Woman, No Cry" - "No Woman, No Hot Hot Sex"

50 Cent "Window Shopper" vs. Depeche Mode "Personal Jesus" - "Personal Shopper"

Akon "My Dog" vs. U2 "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" - "I Still Haven't Found My Dog"

Lou Reed "Walk on the Wild Side" vs. Kanye West "Jesus Walks" - "Jesus Walks on the Wild Side"

We'll be padding the list through out the day, so check back. And if you think it's so easy, leave your own, hot shot.