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A Popstream Public Service Announcement

Categories: The Popstream
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We here (well, OK, I here) at the Popstream will be taking a brief hiatus for Christmas week. I'd like to say it's because I'm going to be too busy basking in the family warmth and joyful wonders of the holiday season to look for clips of old school rap or obscure dubstep singles, but that would be a flat-out lie. And it's not because I'm going to be busy with other, equally important projects (freelance writing assignments; drawing pictures of wicked rad custom '70s muscle cars; attempting to figure out the perfect ratio of Southern Comfort to Pepsi Max). It's because I'm going to be spending a lot of time with a blog called Everything is Terrible, which subverts YouTube's dominant comedy paradigm of Family Guy/internet meme/dumbasses-with-camcorders by going back to the three classic pillars of audio-visual awfulness: daytime basic cable, b-movies and weird thrift store video finds.
This, for instance, is... I don't know what. EiT member Ghoul Skool claims that "When a Mentor D.A.R.E. officer makes a rock opera, this is what happens," and I can't tell if it's the honest truth or smart-assed speculation. The reason I can't tell is because this clip -- centering around a bizarre bastardization of Alice Cooper's "Welcome to My Nightmare" (with a bunch of other famous classic rock song lyrics thrown in) -- depicts a hapless young dupe dragged down a spiral of substance abuse with such ineptitude that attributing it to D.A.R.E. would seem like a joke you'd make at their expense... except that it's entirely feasible that they did finance this and distributed it to high schools. I love so many things about this clip: its late '80s hair-metal video version of squalor (replete with boa constrictor), the dude with the hairdo like Alannah from the Thompson Twins serenading our victim with a terrible rendition of Steve Miller's "The Joker" as he passes him a bong, and those insane high notes the heroin guy hits at the end. Fine, I won't do drugs, eesh, just shut up and leave me alone.
 

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