Rick James: The Ouija Interview

Categories: Ouija Interview
ouija board.jpg


It's been a while, gang, since our resident mediums have rousted that deceased for a fireside chat. We had planned to interview the spirit of Joaquin Phoenix, but certain arrangements we made to make the interview possible have fallen through at the last minute. So, while we contact a good criminal lawyer, we decided to pass the time with wig enthusiast, master torturer and occasional musician Rick James.

So kick back, good readers, and take a trip down the Superfreak's afterlife. Gimme Noise apologetically presents Rick James: The Ouija Interview.
 

Gimme Noise: Hi Rick.
Ouija Board: (no response)
GN: Rick?
OB: RCK JAME
GN: (no response)
RJ: IM RICK
GN: Yes. We've all seen that Chapelle sketch. When--
RJ: SUPEFRK
GN: Soupfreak?
RJ: (no response)
GN: I'm under deadline here, Rick.
RJ: (no response)
GN: Burning a girl with a crack pipe?
RJ: HELL YES
GN: What the fuck, dude.
RJ: SPRFREK
GN: And that hair.
RJ: (no response)
GN: That awful hair.
RJ: HELL YES
GN: You've got some serious explaining to do.
RJ: (no response)
GN: So, you and Eddie Murphy must have been up to some pretty kinky shit.
RJ: YES
GN: I'm betting Murphy backed out at the torture shenanigans.
RJ: NO
GN: Murphay was down for that?
RJ: DOWN
GN: How about that!
RJ: (no response)
GN: I've heard you're a real ball buster.
RJ: WHAT
GN: As a band leader.
RJ: WHO
GN: I'd rather not--
RJ: WHO WHO
GN: Don't raise your voice at me.
RJ:  (no response)
GN: I keep my secrets.
RJ: (no response)
GN: Who do you hang out with up there?
RJ: BROWN
GN: James Brown?
RJ: ALLIN
GN: Wait. Which--
RJ: HAMSUN
GN: Knut Hamsun? Are you--
RJ: NIETZSCHE
GN: (no response)
RJ: CROWLEY
GN: (no response)
RJ:  JUDAS
GN: So I take it you went downstairs, not up.
RJ: NIXON
GN: Really! He headed downstairs too?
RJ: ELVIS
GN: No great surprise I suppose.
RJ: (no response)
GN: Go on. This is dynamite stuff.
RJ: (no response)
GN: Rick?
RJ: GOODBYE






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