The stink proof project
Hey, we've got the time. It's nearly the weekend anyway, and between infuriating Joaquin Phoenix's slavishly devoted fan base and promoting local metalheads, we hardly have anything better to do than slap on a pair of Duluth Trading Company's Stink Proof boxers and stew in our own juices. By God, fair readers, if we can't crack these unmentionables, no one can.
It is the first day of the project here at the Gimme Noise offices, and the initial reaction to the underwear seems to be uniformly favorable, although the fabric, which is of a puckered, cheese-cloth texture, seems to promote an unusually high rate of itching for a clean pair of underwear against freshly showered genitals.
In any case, the underwear, which are of the boxer short style, have a sturdy waistband, and despite being made almost entirely of synthetic materials, they seem to be breathing well on this fair March Thursday, and not a complaint of binding, sweating or undue clamminess can be heard throughout the office.
The only sobering consideration is the very premise suggested by such a product-- the need for a stink proof underwear seems to imply a demand for underwear that can be worn during rugged physical activity day in and out without need of washing. The hygenic make even the grungiest of us fetid music bloggers tremble.
And yet on we trudge for your benefit, always shouldering those unpleasant tasks so that you, our good readers may not suffer so much. Stay tuned-- Gimme Noise will be issuing further bulletins as they warrant.