BREAKING: Britney Spears weds local artist Scott Seekins

Categories: Gossip
Bystanders at the Mall of America are reporting that a drunk and giddy Britney Spears was spotted holding hands and canoodling with local artist and cult figure Scott Seekins, who has publicly advertised his obsession with the pop artist for years, late last night. Spears flew into town to prepare for Friday's show at the Target Center, and close friends of the singer say that she came early specifically at the pleading of Seekins.

Witnesses report that the couple downed three rounds of margaritas at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. on the fourth floor before heading downstairs to tie the knot at the mall's own Chapel of Love, with Seekins dressed in his usual white suit and Spears wearing a cheap white beaded dress that she bought in a rush off a clearance rack at Deb.

"This time it's forever," declared Brit Brit as Seekins gripped her hand in his sweaty palm.

This is a shocking development, but not surprising given this week's article detailing Seekins' obsession with Spears and his undying hope that he would one day marry the pop icon.

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