Look, I don't want to sound like a drama queen or anything, but today is the single most meaningful day of my entire life.
Tonight, at 6 p.m. inside the Mall of America (where dreams come true), the greatest, most important, most awe-inspiring American hero of all time is going to be live in person, signing copies of his new book, My Life Outside the Ring, and making 27-year-old dudes cry like chicks at a Bon Jovi show.
That's right; Hulk Hogan is coming to town. (Click here for info.)
Now, if you're anything like me, then you probably just released a small amount of bodily fluid on to your sweatpants that you've been sporting for the better part of a week.
(Author's note: If I don't go outside, then how can they be considered "dirty?" My wife obviously doesn't understand sweatpants etiquette.)
But before you throw on your faded nWo t-shirt, grab your DVD copy of Suburban Commando (the Hulkster's finest work, in my opinion) and make a run for the mall, you need to ask yourself one small, but all too important question:
What are you going to say to him?
Asking the right question can make this casual encounter with Hulk a moment to remember. Asking the wrong question, however, can lead to a life of sadness and mental anguish as you'll think, "Why didn't think through what I was going to say ahead of time? I hate myself so much."
Don't worry, I won't let that happen. Check it.
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