George Jones says call a cab or ride a lawn mower

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No, just do the former.

According to figures from the Minnesota Department of Public Safety, in 2008 there were 35,736 impaired driving incidents in the state. 163 people were killed and 2,896 injured in alcohol related crashes. And during the month of December, over 400 law enforcement agencies across the state have been joining efforts to add extra enforcement to the roads for enhanced drunk driving enforcement.

Not that it's ever a good time, but now's an especially bad time to pull back one too many at your local saloon then crawl into your pickup or on to your riding lawn mower to mosey on home, even if your woman's no longer driving you to drink as George Jones parodies in his 1996 single "Honky Tonk Song."

Don't want to listen to me? "I wanna be like the Possum! I wanna drive mah lawn mower to the bar on New Year's Eve!" Okay. Well, it's kinda funny to watch drunk people on lawn mowers, I guess.

I take that back. Not funny. Funny is getting arrested for driving a souped-up La-Z-Boy chair home from the bar, as Dennis LeRoy Anderson of Proctor, MN did summer before last.

Alright, settle down MADD moms. Also not "funny." Be safe this New Year's Eve, whether driving, riding, biking or walking. And remember, January 1 marks the day in 1953 that Hank Williams died in the back of a Cadillac, supposedly of heart failure, after injecting himself with morphine. Take 'er easy there, folks! None of us are gonna get outta this world alive, but hey, let's see that we see a little of 2010 before we go.