The Wet Spot presents: Minnesota's Top 9 sexiest scandals of the '00's
When people think of Minnesota, they don't usually think "sex scandal." How wrong they are.
Our state has been known to get into some seriously sexy mischief over the years, and the 2000s might be our sexiest, most scandalous decade of all time. That's why this week, we celebrate our sleazy side by counting down the top 9 sexiest Minnesota scandals of the past decade.
(Author's note: I chose to do 9 instead of 10 because 9 is a much sexier number. And because I'm terribly lazy.)
Did you hear? Last month Adrian Peterson got busted for SPEEDING! Yep, he was driving too fast and he even got a ticket! Now if that doesn't rock the
Vikings to their core, I don't know what will! Oh, right. Totally forgot about the sex boat thing.
In 2005, a group of our boys in purple decided to take a classy gentleman's cruise out on Lake Minnetonka. Since no one invited me, I can't tell you for sure what happened that day (*rails line off Dante Culpepper trading card, punches through wall*).
However, thanks to the good folks at Wikipedia, we know what ALLEGEDLY went down that afternoon:
An alleged sex party occurred on October 6, 2005 on Lake Minnetonka with 17 key members of the Minnesota Vikings football team. Two boats were rented and some, but not all of the players performed sexual acts in front of crew members. Stephen Doyle, attorney for the charter company, said some of the sex acts alleged by witnesses to have taken place during the party included, "Masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, woman on man, woman on woman, man on man, toys, double penetration, middle of the floor, middle of the couches, middle of the room."
In the end, there wasn't a whole lot of serious fallout from the event (minus some seriously bad PR for the Vikings, and some seriously sexy PR for Lake Minnetonka). But when it comes to partying, no one can deny the '05 Vikes knew how to get DOWN. Skol Vikes!
Al Franken - The OG of Erotic Specialists
|Franken's PR people asked us to point out this is a photoshopped image by the Ohio GOP campaign. Hey Al, thanks for reading!|
My nervousness disappeared, and I sat back and enjoyed the amazingly realistic cyber job. It was every bit as good as the last real blow job I had gotten 23 years earlier-if not better-because when I shot my wad, the virtual mouth swallowed.
Apparently, the GOP has never enjoyed a cyber HJ, BJ, RJ, TJ or a KJ (admit it, you're trying to think of what each one of those stands for, aren't you? Perv), because they got all bent out of shape about the story and demanded Al apologize to women everywhere for his writing - eight years after the fact.
I think we all know how this story ends.
Now Al Franken, the original erotic specialist is serving our state proudly in Washington, and people have had to start looking for new sex columnists to get all pissy about. Hmmm...
Norm Coleman's dad is awesome
"I love my father dearly. I do not condone his actions or behavior, and I am deeply disturbed by what I have learned. He clearly has some issues that need to be dealt with, and I will encourage him to seek the necessary help."
Uhhhh...Norm? Your dad is 81. He was rockin' it with a 38-year-old. The only issue he needed to deal with was how sore his hand got from throwing so many high-fives with the cops he met while being booked.
Sadly, Norm Sr. passed away almost one year later to the day from cancer. However, I'm sure he's in a better place, eating pizza and knowing that he went out on top.