Top 10 most ridiculous country songs of '09
Zac Brown Band - "Toes"
Zac Brown Band is a country jam band. Need I say more? Okay I will. In this Jimmy Buffet-esque song, Brown details his escape from GA to drink rum on an island beach, the muchachas calling him "Big Poppa" when he throws pesos their way, edited for country radio with the removal of all mention of "ass" in sand and "rolling big fat ones." Adios and vaya con dios.
Brad Paisley - "Welcome to the Future"
Brad Paisley's lyrics drive me absolutely nuts. To my knowledge, Paisley has never employed a metaphor. In this song, Paisley welcomes us to "the future" (per Paisley, the future is now!), a world in which we play Pac-Man on our phones rather than at the arcade! Where we communicate via video chats rather than letters! He makes some mention of Martin Luther (King, presumably) after remembering a friend on the football team who once had a cross burned in his yard (some sort of inspirational note ending the song that utterly confounds me). Paisley's lyrics may be maddening, but as a friend and fan of his pointed out, he is a pretty amazing guitar player - you can check him out when he visits the Xcel this January with Miranda Lambert.
Tim McGraw - "It's a Business Doing Pleasure With You"
Faith Hill is evidently breaking Tim McGraw's bank now that her own career is on hiatus while she cares of their kids, and he's outfitting her Escalade with new spinners and her damned dog in $1500 collars.