Juggalo gathering's 20-minute infomercial hits your brains today

The 11th annual Gathering of the Juggalos is upon us! Taking place August 12-15 in Cave In Rock, Illinois, Psychopathic Records has released an insanely long promo video for the event, over 17 minutes long. I watched all of it. That's not a complaint, but more of a dare.

Firstly, apparently the Gathering is corporate sponsor-free. While I'm skeptical (define 'corporate'), if it's true then it's also sort of remarkable for a three-day festival with "100+ artists" could jump off (see how readily I'm manipulated?) without any major sponsors. Is the Gathering more punk than the Warped Tour? Yeah, probably.

The video follows narrators DJ Clay, Awesome Dre, and "sweet Sugar Slam up in this bitch" as they travel in their green-screened fake-shake Caddy to Cave In Rock, stopping and lounging in a Waffle House and talking in stilted robo-pitchmen drawls about the various goings-on scheduled for the festival (question: what kind of "seminars" would the Gathering hold?). Along the way they pick up a meth-toothed fighter guy, reigning champion of the Juggalo Wrestling Squad, muse on Ron Jeremy's comedy ("he does have good dick jokes!"), mention that Butterbean is gonna be there, and sort of insult American Indians with that hand-to-mouth "loolooloo" call we all know from other more-than-semi-racist ventures like the Disney Corporation.

Some other notable guests, as far as I could tell:

• Redman
• Gallagher (yeah, that Gallagher)
• Warren G
• Lil' Kim
• Slick Rick
• Tone Loc
• Vanilla Ice
• Todd Bridges (for real!)

The theme this year is "Wild Wild West," a move made in support of moving units of the long-delayed Big Money Rustlas, Insane Clown Posse's take on the American frontier and punching Mexicans. They set to make some serious cheddar up in this bitch!

I'll leave you with the video's best reason to make the mecca, and something I wish I could feel just once in my life: "the feeling of 10,000 best friends around you."

Todd Bridges!

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