Kanye West apologizes to Taylor Swift in the stalkeriest way (not about race)

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Two opinions crossing my mind at the moment: Kanye West is ridiculous, and Twitter is dumb.

Highly unoriginal opinions to be sure, but still, I possess them. Hey, remember when Kanye pulled that stunt with Taylor Swift at the VMAs like a year ago? Of course, we all do. Is it worth talking about anymore? No. And yet, here I am, about to talk about it again, and why? Because Kanye West is being ridiculous on that dumb Twitter.

Like a stalkery ex-boyfriend, Kanye's Twitterings reveal he just can't stop talking about Taylor: how bad he feels about the demise of their relationship, how he still has hope that she will forgive him. Tweet, tweet, tweet. Is he being a creep? Is he looking to rustle up a little more attention for his wilting career (which, to be fair, may also rustle up a little for hers as it also grows a bit limp)? Is it just a tangent in his nonsensical ramblings about race which are not actually about race? (Likely.) Judge for yourself. And Taylor, when a dude says he's written you a song, it usually means it's time for a good stern caution to stay away, sometimes in the form of a restraining order. Yowza.

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A glimpse into Kanye's Twitter State of Mind. We all do, Kanye. We all do.

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DO NOT ACCEPT AN ABUSER'S GIFTS. It will send him mixed messages.

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What he's trying to do to you here, Taylor, is infantilize you. DO NOT ACCEPT HIS GIFTS!

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MUAH-HAHAHAH. Yes, is some way, we do. (Note to Taylor: This is the abuser's attempt to angle the situation as you and the abuser against the world. Do not accept his song!)


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*Correction: neon sunglasses, fades

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Mmmkay. Someone's up late drinking. Taylor, girl, I've had abusive boyfriends. This is how they talk at daybreak after a night of chugging a case cheap beers, alone, on their couch.

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See what I'm saying?

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The abuser, drunk on Black Label, wants you to feel sorry for him. Does Kanye drink Black Label? No matter... you get my point.

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Where is he going with this?

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Uhhh...

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Ahh, this conversation he's made about race is about an issue that is not about race. Phew! He's distracted himself. Taylor - you're in the clear.

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Kanye has come out of the closet. Taylor - you're in the clear.

Kanye continues to update us on every minute - about Taylor, about Beyonce, about De Niro, before explaining...

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...and then shit gets positively nutty. But again, to bring it to a bottom line:

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Did you hear that?

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A call to the haters.

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AWWWWWWWWW.

So is it time for us all to move on? His next series ofTweets, written two days later, seem to say so.

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