Justin Bieber's Bronx beaver isn't alone

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Aw, just look at him. That there is Justin Beaver, so named after the Bronx Zoo held an open vote - in other words, an open door to the inevitable. He's the second beaver to take New York in 200 years, keeping Jose company whilst they free-float down the Bronx River (which if you've never smelled, don't).

Surely there must be more.

As it turns out, there's a shitload of animals out there sporting fake Latin names with some musician to thank. Four separate species of trilobites owe their names to The Ramones, the Mackenziurus johnnyi, joeyi, deedeei, and ceejayi (C.J. was their bassist from '89-'96, hardly worth a trilobite, really).

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Sheena is...

The Ramones weren't the only punks to get some love in the animal kingdom, but don't get too excited. The Sex Pistols were also trilobite namesakes (there's a lot of trilobites): Arcticalymene rotteni and viciousi most notable. You know what? Let's just get this out of the way right now. Musicians named after trilobites include: Keith Richards, Paul McCartney (two different ones!), John Lennon, Ringo Starr, Paul Simon, and Art Garfunkel. Sheesh.

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Deserving of the distinction

Continuing right along that biological thread, Freddy Mercury will be forever remembered for being prodigiously mustachioed, supremely dramatic, and...an isopod (not a trilobite techinically!). Cirolana mercuryi (they append the "i" so you know it's smart) isn't much to look at sure, but neither was Freddy and look at all he accomplished.

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The Dire Straits' Mark Knopfler has a goddamn dinosaur named after him, in case you were dozing off. Masiakasaurus knopfleri was six feet long, carnivorous, and copped a lot of its vocal delivery from the Bobdylanosaurus (not real).

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Joey Ramone gets a thoughtless pre-lobster, but Knopfler gets this?

The undisputed champ of species honorifics must certainly be Frank Zappa, with not only two (not quite boring) species named after him, but also an entire genus of animals! First up: his jellyfish, Phialella zappai. An italian biologist wanted to met Zappa, so this was his gambit (it paid off, they became semi-friends for a long while after). Next: his spider, Pachygnatha zappa, after the striking mustache-looking creepy things on its face. And finally, the entire superset of animals, simply called Zappa. It's a genus of adorable little mudskippers that Zappa "won" for his vehement defense of the First Amendment (I don't see Tipper Gore getting too many animals named after her).

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Some mustache wax would clear that right up

Let that be a lesson to you, Justin Bieber. True immortality comes not from a single animal, but an entire species of little sycophants all chattering about being backstage when the shit hit the fan.
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