Lil Wayne to record whenever "logistically possible" upon release from prison
After that story hit the wires, undisclosed sources filled Gimme Noise in on some of the other transient locations - all of which are presently being outfitted with what was described as "disposable yet dependable" studio equipment - with that the New Orleans-bred rap phenom will spit, rhyme, and cypher into hip-hop immortality between squalid jail cell and gaudy, well-appointed crib.
1. In the guards' breakroom, near the solitary unit.
2. In the guards' restroom, atop a flushing toilet; Weezy will freestyle to the watery roar of a Kohler lowboy.
3. Just beyond on the Rikers gates.
4. On the hood of the chaffeured gold-plated Bugatti hovercraft that will transport him to the air strip.
5. Inside of the aforementioned gold-plated Bugatti hovercraft, while occupying each of its seats in succession, excepting the driver's seat.
6. While breaking into a quarter-ounce bag of Purple Power - a gift from Big Boi - and firing up a massive bong that resembles Liberace.
7. On the air strip itself.
8. Underneath and lying crosswise upon the plane's ramp.
9. While sprawled on the plane's two wings and while dangling precariously from the plane's tail fin, over to the beat to Far East Movement's "Like a G6."
10. In the plane's cabin, over a chopped and screwed version of the beat to Eminem's "Old Time's Sake."
11. In mid-air, descending into an undisclosed region of New York State with a United Kingdom flag parachute billowing above him, Austin Powers style.
12. While basking in the adoration and good cheer of his 100-deep personal entourage, who are waiting for him at the parachute landing site with a chalice of purp and a brass bowl of Tootsie pops.
13. While waiting in line at the local F.Y.E. to put copies of N.E.R.D.'s Nothing, Brian Eno's Small Craft On A Milk Sea, Afrocubism, and Brad Paisley's Hits Alive on his American Express Black Card - and leafing idly through an issue of SPIN.
15. While dissecting, seasoning, and consuming his authentic Cantonese meal.
16. While simultaneously sending a booty call text via Blackberry, trimming his fingernails, and high-fiving well-wishers, to the tune of "LOL :)" by Trey Songz.
17. While celebrating his new freedom with an extended high colonic treatment.
18. While lazily wandering through the Abstract Expressionist wing of an abandoned-at-midday local art gallery, smoking unfiltered Gauloises, somehow managing to hum Little Joy's "How To Hang A Warhol" to himself while dropping hot, lithe sixteens about Dada and Goya.
19. While explaining the true meaning of "Lollipop" to a miniskirted young curator in the men's room of the gallery.
20. While commandeering a hotdog stand outside, totally impromptu, for the fleeting amusement of visiting German tourists who mistake Weezy for a homeless Rastafarian eccentric, applauding and slipping him a handful of crumpled Euros.