Kanye West offers subscription to his life, here are 13 possible special features

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Talk about putting your business in the street - or out on the Internet, as it were. Basically, for between $3.99 and $4.99 per month, you get to watch a carefully edited version of Kanye West's Life. As Pitchfork reported yesterday, this quasi-Orwellian cash-in includes concerts, rehearsals, details about what West eats, and an animated series based on the My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy single "Runaway," or, perhaps, the bizarre, related short film of the same name.

Is this the future of the cult of personality as we know it, or just proof that West has watched The Truman Show a half-billion times? You decide.

In the meantime, Gimme Noise got wind of some additional features included in the subscription, and figured we'd clue you in on what they are before you entrust your credit card information to a dude with admitted conspicuous consumption issues.

1. West's Michael Levine-directed audition tape for Season Nine of Project Runway.

2. A recreation of the "The New Workout Plan" video, starring Lego figurines as stand-ins.

3. A Mark E. Smith-inspired one-man, one-act play written and performed by West's valet.

4. Some leftover napkins from the last time West bought out the KFC in Tempe, Arizona.

5. A mosaic of interviews shot with fans waiting in line to see West concerts, worldwide, presented in photographic negative with a soundtrack chopped and screwed by DJ A-Trak. According to a writer for Complex magazine, the result is said to be "pretty much the polar opposite of Heavy Metal Parking Lot, further away from Cooley High than you could possibly imagine, it's just a total cerebral wasteland out there, the republic is fucked, I couldn't tear myself away from it - it's like The Entertainment from Infinite Jest."

6. West and author Tobias Wolff in casual conversation at an NYC kosher deli about whether or not Lady Gaga "deserves to be taken seriously" as a literary gay icon.

7. Footage of West and Jay-Z building sand castles on the beach of an exclusive Caribbean resort, minus sound, while Pusha T loiters nearby, disdainful, smoking a cigar the size of a small baseball bat.

8. A long, unedited take of West updating his blog while wearing nothing more than silk designer underwear and a cape.

9. West tap-dancing merrily on the streets of Calcutta to entertain lepers. Later, West makes out with a leper who guesses the exact size of the Ice Creams he's wearing; the leper, who is homeless, also receives a gate-fold LP version of Watch The Throne.

10. A look behind the scenes of the Runaway movie, with a rakish West and several extras sacrificing chickens in accordance with voodoo tradition and shooting craps in the large, semi-industrial space where the dinner scene was filmed.

11. West alone in an unspecified studio at 5 a.m., singing lonesome, a cappela versions of "Rio," "You're So Vain" and "Jigga My Nigga" to himself.

12. West chopping up the with College Bear costume from his first two albums' cover art with a Pulaski, dousing them with lighter fluid, and throwing a flaming copy of Scratch Magazine onto the pile.

13. A 14-year-old West beat-boxing wildly before his bedroom mirror - seriously, but also, not - eyes bugged out, holding his mirth in for a long moment until he just can't anymore, the routine collapsing entirely, and the adolescent laughter pouring out in waves, uncontrollable.




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