Hard Rock Cafe closing September 30. What will replace it?

By Ian Power-Luetscher Wed., Sep. 7 2011 at 2:53 PM

Categories: Music News

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Hard Rock Cafe's story is as quaint as it is homespun, or at least, that's what their website is shucking. Local hero and folksy humble-as-pie British megastar Eric Clapton donates his guitar to his favorite London restaurant, a quaint hangout called the Hard Rock Cafe...A week or two later, Pete Townsend, equally modest, and down-to-earth rock god and restaurant enthusiast follows suit with his ax, and so the legend is born...

But with the recent news of Minneapolis's chapter of Hard Rock Cafe closing, the question is: What will replace it? And where will all that Prince swag go?

Here's a list of five things that, in a perfect world, would logically go into the space, versus five that will most likely end up moving in:

What Should Replace Hard Rock Cafe Downtown

1. Something with a big slide and ball pit

2. Mid-sized cotton candy factory with fight club in basement

3. Orphan puppy play and adoption center

4. Year-round haunted house and Santa workshop hybrid

5. An actual cafe that plays hard rock music

What Probably Will Replace Hard Rock Cafe Downtown

1. Some big casino

2. A mid-sized parking lot

3. Toby Keith Loves This Bar Too!

4. Strip club and Dim Sum restaurant hybrid

5. Something awful

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