Brad Paisley to play the Xcel this Saturday

To our knowledge, Brad Paisley has never* employed a metaphor in his lyrics. When he says he wants to see the other half of your butterfly tattoo, when he says he wants to check you for ticks, he really, literally, wants you to strip down so he can inspect every inch of your poorly-inked, parasite-infested flesh. Does he care that much about Lyme disease, about Hep C? No. He just wants to see you naked. Hot, right?

We love him for this, and above all for his stellar guitar chops, a quality I couldn't snark or quip about even if I tried. You can check both out at his Saturday performance at the Xcel (6:30, $25-59.75, with openers the Band Perry and Scotty McCreery). A note from the Xcel: allow plenty of travel and parking time. Why? Because this is going on on the same night, just up the street. Yowza.

In the meantime, here are some of our favorite wacky Brad Paisley hits.

"Ticks"

"Online"

"Alcohol"

"Welcome to the Future"

"Water"