Joe Mauer should dump T.I.'s "What You Know"

Categories: Lists, Rap/Hip Hop
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Photoart by Lars Larson
In case you haven't noticed -- and judging by the attendance you haven't -- Joe Mauer is hurt again. As of today, he's hitting .314  and putting up a better year than the last, but it's still not enough for the Homer Hanky-less crowds at Target Field this season. People are getting impatient, bitter, and some are downright angry at the Kemps spokesman.

But let's be real. Joe Mauer will never have another year like 2009. Never, and fans should know this. Its just good ole Minnesota luck that the Twins finally figured out how to hit dingers in the Homerdome the last year they were tenants in the inflatable fortress. Now the Twins have moved into a stadium that is only built for Jim Thome and Jose Bautista. Neither of them are teammates of Joe Mauer. Now that Michael Cuddyer is gone, can we at least bring back the trees in center field? 

The power is gone and maybe now the love? You hear more boos now when Mauer gets his name called. It's faint and drowned out by all the kids and all the Annie Savoy's in attendance. But the front office would be lying to say it's not a concern that hating on the hometown hero is at an all time high. Maybe dumping T.I. is the answer?


Baseball is full of superstitions, and this is one of the better known ones around baseball. Joe Mauer loves some Clifford Harris and they have been together since 2006 with "What You Know" as his walk-up music. Did you know that these DJ Toomp-produced synth lines come from an interpolation of Roberta Flack's version of The Impressions's "Gone Away" and of Jimi Hendrix's "Hey Joe," as well? Hey Joe, where you going with that bat in your hand? 

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Photo by MLB

So do we still need Clifford Harris as a good luck charm? He has been locked up twice on illegal gun charges and arrested on drug charges once since Mauer won his first batting title. He also starred on an awful reality TV show, was a part of the dumb trend of sagging extra tight jeans, and was seen wearing lip gloss a few times -- a fad that didn't catch on like the tight jeans, thank Zeus. Besides, he's a Braves fan. Doesn't sound like much of a rabbit's foot to me. I'd rather put my faith in Jobu or sacrifice a live chicken.


But Joe, we understand long relationships and they are hard to break. Clifford has been good to you in the past and you want to be loyal to him, just roll with a new song from the "king of the south" that's more updated. "What You Know" had a short shelf life as is, but you kept it running for years. KDWB is jealous of your playlist dedication. But if you decide to part ways with Mr. Harris maybe some of these tracks will put some extra pop in your swing before every at bat? 



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