Motley Crue recommend "Smokin' in the Boys' Room" when school's getting too intense.
Even for those of us who are long past our days of cracking books and praying our way through quizzes, there are days where life seems to consist of nothing but school -- twisted hierarchical aspects, people who remind you of people you loathed in gym class, and so forth. It can seem like everything is school, like it's forever, like institutional learning creeped up when we were doing keg stands at the graduation party and subsumed the entire world.
Education never ends, and we never truly escape its formal strictures. But we can talk about it on our own terms -- with help from our favorite musicians! Here's to school fucking your head up permanently. It starts this week for you, or your kid, or your kid sister. Here are seven of our favorite songs about it.
7. Pink Floyd, "Another Brick In The Wall"
If you're an English instructor and on the first day of class, there's a guy wearing a The Wall t-shirt and carving swastikas into his desk in the front row, you're fucked for the year. You may as well just lay down and die. You're doomed.
6. Motley Crue, "Smoking In The Boys' Room"
Videos like this provide some insight into what made aspects of Bloom County work as a satirical 1980s period piece, but beyond that, there's no redeeming social value to watching the thing. (The star of this video is not Eric Roberts; I looked it up.) Musically, the Crue bring a skronking boogie blues to bad advice for any day in the school year, but following their lead is especially ill-advised during the first week. It's worth nothing that dudes did this at my high school when I was there, and probably still do.
5. Liz Phair, "Girls' Room"
Phair crams half a Bret Easton Ellis novel worth of first-world high school drama into a minute or two where she crowns herself the Bob Dylan of this kind of shit; it's all pretty obvious, but it's just occurred to me that "Stacy's been away, forever" can read like a dozen different ways, none of them positive.