The ten most depressing country Christmas songs
6. Dale Watson - "You Can Call Me Nick"
And this time Santa's in jail; the tale of an illegal immigrant. Notable lyric: He said the cops had picked him up because he looked a little strange. And he couldn't give an address and he couldn't prove his name. Besides he looked like an immigrant, his skin was dark and tough. He couldn't even name our President. And then if that weren't enough it seems he didn't even have a family, and his friends lived far away. That old judge fined him half a grand, or one month and a day.
5. Mojo Nixon - "It's Christmas Time"
That "booger-eatin' moron" Mojo Nixon released a Christmas album, too. But he called it Horny Holidays, and well, that about explains it all. Notable lyric: I said honey child, you know what Christmas present I got for you? Unzip my pants, let my snake do a little dance. Unzip my pants, then I'll do a love dance.
4. Loretta Lynn - "To Heck With Ole Santa Claus"
Loretta Lynn wants to kick everyone's ass. But she'll be super cute about it! This song gives "Fist City" a run for its money. Notable lyric: So to heck with ole Santa Claus. When he goes dashin' through the snow I hope he falls. I'd like to hit him and his "ho ho ho" with a bunch of big snowballs. To heck with ole Santa Claus.