My mom reviews the Grammy Awards 2013 nominees

Categories: Lists, My Mom

5. BEST NEW ARTIST

Nominees:

Alabama Shakes
fun.
Hunter Hayes
The Lumineers
Frank Ocean

Justin: Alabama Shakes or Frank Ocean should win, but every female I know wants to make out with the Lumineers' Wesley Schultz, so I think that's where this award is going. It was probably over when The Lum's signed on to tour with Dave Matthews.

Mom: Do I have to pick categories where I don't know any of the bands? Is Frank Ocean related to Billy Ocean? How old is Billy Ocean now, anyway?

4. BEST ROCK ALBUM

Nominees:

The Black Keys, El Camino
Coldplay, Mylo Xyloto
Muse, The 2nd Law
Bruce Springsteen, Wrecking Ball
Jack White, Blunderbuss

Justin: This nominees list is stunning. Do these people even listen to music? Black Keys win by default.

Mom: I know this is going to disturb you, Justin, but I really like Coldplay!

Justin: Disturbed. Next category.

3. SONG OF THE YEAR

Nominees:

Ed Sheeran, "The A Team"
Miguel, "Adorn"
Carly Rae Jepsen, "Call Me Maybe"
Kelly Clarkson, "Stronger"
fun., "We Are Young"

Justin: Maybe I'm missing something in the definition of the word "song."

Mom: "Call Me Maybe" is an adorable song, Justin! Thank God Taylor Swift is not up for this one. I'm telling you, I've seen her on Ellen and a bunch of the talk shows -- she's a bright, engaging young woman. I like her. Her music just sucks! I just don't understand who votes on these awards.

2. ALBUM OF THE YEAR

Nominees:

The Black Keys, El Camino
fun., Some Nights
Mumford & Sons, Babel
Frank Ocean, Channel Orange
Jack White, Blunderbuss

Justin: I think the Mumford fascination is done. Black Keys again.

Mom: I have no beef with Mumford, but I'm telling you I really like this band Fun...dot. Is that what you call them?

1. RECORD OF THE YEAR

Nominees:

The Black Keys, "Lonely Boy"
Kelly Clarkson, "Stronger"
fun., "We Are Young"
Gotye, "Somebody I Used To Know"
Frank Ocean, "Thinkin Bout You"
Taylor Swift, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"

Justin: Heads up mother -- I'm afraid Taylor Swift may get this one.
Mom: If they pick "Never Ever," I'll slit my throat. I just want you to know that.


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