Top ten country kiss-off songs for Valentine's Day
|Photo by Nikki Miller-Rose|
10. Roy Clark, "Thank God and Greyhound" (1970)
A "gotcha" song if there ever was one. Stay tuned until the tempo change so you can go, "Ahhhhhhawwwwww yeah! Gotcha!" Notable lyric: Thank God and Greyhound you're gone, that load on my mind got lighter when you got on. That shiny old bus is a beautiful sight, with the black smoke a-rolling up around the taillight. It may sound kinda cruel but I've been silent too long, thank God and Greyhound you're gone.
9. David Allan Coe, "Cumstains on the Pillow" (1978)
In his 1978 ode to vulgarity, Nothing Sacred, Coe makes Linda Lovelace gag among other unmentionable things. Depending upon your mode of familiarity with Shel Silverstein (children's book author/illustrator, vs. dirty dirty dude), it may or may not surprise you that it was he who encouraged Coe to record the album, which also features the tunes "Pussy Whipped Again," "Fuck Aneta Briant" (sic) and "Master Bation Blues." Nothing Sacred was released by mail-order only, initially advertised on the back pages of Easyriders magazine. Notable lyric: When she took my Cadillac, that didn't bother me a bit. When she took that blue tick hound, she shouldn't ever done that shit. Never thought I'd see the day her love would be as dead as the cumstains on the pillow, where she once laid her head.
8. Charlie Daniels Band, "Drinkin' My Baby Goodbye" (1986)
Greyhound makes an appearance yet again, and booze helps see her off. Notable lyric: Every time I try to sit down and talk to her it always ends up in a fuss. I tried to reason with her right up to the time she got on that Greyhound bus. It would be better if I could forget her 'cause she sure forgot about me. And if takes all night I'm gonna' do it right, I'm gonna' sit here till I can't see.
7. Travis Tritt, "Here's a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares" (1991)
I remember hearing when I was a kid that Tritt had to stop performing this song live because he'd get pelted onstage with Washingtons. Notable lyric: Call someone who'll listen, or might give a damn. Maybe one of your sordid affairs. But don't you come 'round here handin' me none of your lies. Here's a quarter, call someone who cares.
6. Ronnie Milsap, "I Hate You" (1973)
The sad lyrics don't quite live up to the punch of the song's title, but the thought of Ronnie Milsap singing a song called "I Hate You," well, it warms our hearts just a little bit. That dark, stony, unfeeling part of our hearts that loves so much to hate. Notable lyric: Oh ain't it funny how a heart that loved you one time, could be filled with so much anger for you and your kind.