Top ten country kiss-off songs for Valentine's Day
5. Randy Travis, "Better Class of Losers" (1991)
Randy's totally been living up to this song lately. Notable lyric: I'm going back to a better class of loser. This uptown living's really got me down. I need friends who don't pay their bills on home computers, and they buy their coffee beans already ground. You think it's disgraceful that they drink three dollar wine, but a better class of loser suits me fine.
4. Tie: Miranda Lambert, "Angry Ex-Girlfriend," "Gunpowder and Lead" and "Kerosene" (2005-2008)
Uh, Miranda's kinda psycho. And we like it. Notable lyric: Now I don't hate the one who left, you can't hate someone who's dead. He's out there holding on to someone, I'm holding up my smoking gun. I'll find somewhere to lay my blame the day she changes her last name. Well I'm giving up on love cause love's given up on me.
3. Eddie Noack, "Psycho" (1968)
A honky-tonk singer, songwriter and industry exec, Noack's best-known song is his cover of this Leon Payne tune, proving that there was plenty of crazy in country long before Miranda (and Carrie and Taylor). Notable lyric: I've seen my ex last night, Mama, at a dance at Miller's store. She was with that Jackie White, Mama, I killed them both, and they're buried under Jenkins sycamore.
2. Harry Nilsson, "You're Breakin' My Heart" (1972)
Nilsson ain't country, you say? WELL FUCK YOU. This song's essential if your V-day is more parts vindictive than Valentine. Notable lyric: You're breakin' my heart, you're tearin' it apart so fuck you. All I want to do is have a good time now I'm blue.
1. John Prine and Iris DeMent, "In Spite of Ourselves" (1999)
Because we had to include just one love song. Notable lyric: He ain't got laid in a month of Sundays. I caught him once and he was sniffin' my undies. He ain't too sharp but he gets things done. Drinks his beer like it's oxygen. He's my baby, and I'm his honey. Never gonna let him go.