The 50 Commandments of SXSW

Categories: SXSW

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For Christ's sake, don't break any of these commandments this year.
You're going to South by Southwest, right? Or you're already there? One of those things is bound to be true. Well, our sibling paper pals at Dallas Observer have got some advice for you, and managed to format it all into the style of commandments, because one of their favorite things to do is pretend they're angry Gods. Or something like that.

So, here they are, the 50 Commandments of SXSW 2013.

See Also:
Prince will perform at SXSW, says Samsung
SXSW 2013: A handy Minnesota music guide

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See the 1st Commandment.
1. Thou shalt not make the mistake of not worshiping the god Doritos.

2. Thou shalt not forget you're never getting into Stubb's BBQ.

3. Thou shalt not forget to loudly say "my herpes are roaring" in the middle of a packed show.

4. Thou shalt not forget to forget deodorant, you wouldn't want to smell good.

5. Thou shalt not shout "the dragons are coming" in the middle of 6th Street unless you're certain they are.

6. Thou shalt not hesitate to tell the guy next to you the traffic is terrible, he probably doesn't know.

7. Thou shalt not fail to respect The Best Wurst carts on 6th, or the Jesus will strike you down.

8. Thou shalt not fight it: just fall asleep on the curb in front of Pete's Dueling Piano Bar.

9. Thou shalt not forget to ask the homeless: ARE YOU WIFI READY??? (this is a joke about how someone made a homeless person a fucking WIFI necklace to wear).

10. Thou shalt not let the police tell you you can't build a pillow fort across the street from the Fader Fort.


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