Ask the Door Guy: Can clubs deny entry for zombies?

Photo by Anna Gulbrandsen

The Door Guy is a veteran of countless clubs around town. People say they've seen it all, but he's seen more. Write to him for everything from live advice to life advice.

Dear Door Guy: Saturday, during Zombie Pub Crawl, my friends and I were out doing our zombie thing and when we got to the bar, we got turned away! The door guy took one look at us and said, "No zombies." What's up with that? I feel totally discriminated against. What right does a bar have to turn an Undead-American away? It doesn't seem fair to refuse someone on Zombie Pub Crawl night for being a zombie!

--Sad and Hungry for Brains

Before I bum you out, Sad and Hungry, I should say up front that I have a healthy appreciation for all things zombie. Love 'em in all their beautiful rotting-flesh, brain-eating ways. There is literally not a movie made with the words "Of the Dead" in the title that I haven't seen 8,000 times. Old school, new school, if it's a zombie movie not starring Brad Pitt, I love it. I'm the guy who got pissed watching 28 Days Later because the zombies could run. A decade ago, when everyone was buying "Vote For Pedro" T-shirts and quoting Napoleon Dynamite, I was wearing Romero merch and crying a little during the last scene of Shaun of the Dead. I got mad zombie cred, yo.

But for the worker-bees, Zombie Pub Crawl is awful. Sorry. It's true.

Photo by Anna Gulbrandsen
Super sorry, zombie bro.

The fact is, Zombie Pub Crawl has evolved from its initial hilarious quasi-performance art event in 2005--which, as their website tells us, was about 150 people taking a few Northeast bars by surprise--into tens of thousands of people experiencing the mass delusion that they can hold their liquor.

And "mass" is the operative term here. Have you ever seen a zombie movie with only one zombie? Of course not! It would be either the most boring or shortest horror flick in history. The entire gag of being a zombie is that you're part of a rotting, faceless, relentless horde. When people come together to experience the mass freedom that comes with hiding behind a bunch of makeup, drink far more than they're used to, and scream for brains, it's not exactly a golden opportunity to express your individuality. It does, however, result in more than a few people blacking out, getting in fights, throwing up on each other, or hitting the trifecta of blacking out and throwing up on each other while in a fight.

Exhibit A:

While that might involve only a tiny percentage of you otherwise sweet and responsible, good-tipping zombies out there, it happens. And when it's not happening, we worker-bees have to spend all our time worrying about it happening.

Sponsor Content

Now Trending

From the Vault