Quiz: Coldplay lyrics or Tumblr poetry?
At this point, U.K. rockers Coldplay are tired of even attempting to look hip. With their now song "Midnight," they've become a bland version of Bon Iver. Impressively, Chris Martin has managed to seem revelatory while saying absolutely nothing of consequence. His most provocative moment was when he told that radio station that he liked Nickelback. He's got an undeniable ear for melody, but words do not come easy to Mr. Yoouuuuuuuuu Arrreeeeeeee.
Here's a little quiz to prove the point. We typed the words "original poetry" into Tumblr, and collected the funniest specimens. Each of these questions feature three selections from Tumblr's finest, and one that was written by Grammy-winning recording artist Chris Martin. Can you spot the Coldplay in the midst of 14-year olds? Let's find out!
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A - "Maybe I'm in the black, maybe I'm on my knees, maybe I'm in the gap between the two trapezes"
B - "There is a universe, in the creases of your elbows, in the backs of your knees"
C - "I would search the earth and sky, to find someone as perfect as you and I"
D - "Daylight litters the land with hope, promises, expectations"
ANSWER - A: The gap between two trapezes? Is that something that even exists?A - "My heart never had anything, not even you"
B - You can hold your arms as wide as you can, but you'll never catch all the stars"
C - "You cut me down a tree, brought it back to me, that's what made me see where I was going wrong"
D - "I thought I had found my lover, but she adored another"
ANSWER - C: Either that was a really convincing tree, or Chris Martin is the most gullible person who has ever lived.