10 reasons you are so underground

Categories: Lists
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Popular culture these days is like a black hole, sucking up all elements of the underground and spitting them back out in a more easy-to-swallow format. It's getting harder and harder to retain true underground status with Urban Outfitters and Hot Topic trying to make a buck off it.

Here in Minneapolis, various factions of underground subcultures fight tirelessly to remain largely ignored. Suburban kids throw on a Leftover Crack shirt, drive 45 minutes into the Cities to a basement show, and cry when someone makes fun of Vice Magazine. Facebook blows up like the old mnVibe boards when the word "rave" is mentioned. Discussing local hip-hop can be like walking through a minefield. Who is the most underground old-school raver? Who is the most punk? Who has the most street cred?

Only you can decide if you are the most underground person in Minneapolis, but Gimme Noise will make it easier by compiling a list of sure signs that you just might qualify for the title.

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10. When a band you like gets big, you don't like them anymore.
It is so passé to like something that everybody else likes. Your role in this society is to be the one who likes things when nobody else does. When other people start liking them you can take credit for knowing about them first. Then, passionately reminisce about how they used to be great, but now they've sold out. It's so annoying when something you like becomes trendy, so you experience eternal misery as popular culture greedily sucks the underground dry.

There is a similar rule for underground musicians who feel that gaining mainstream attention for their art somehow negatively impacts what they are trying to do. These people will often remark about how little attention they receive in the media. When they are finally given some kind of public recognition, they will cry about how they have been "ruined" and struggle to fade back into obscurity in order to maintain their underground status.

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9. Your entire collection of local music is on cassette.
You have a carefully catalogued collection of cassette tapes. Every tape is bound with handmade artwork. You found half of these tapes in the free bin at Hard Times. Your taste in music is the most underground, and the musicians who create the music that you like want you to go through the work of buying a tape player at Saver's so you can fully appreciate the value of listening to their EP. Just kidding, they really just can't afford to release their music on anything other than cassette.

8. You hang out with Spooky Black, or someone just as underground as him.
Who is Spooky Black? Not only can you answer this question, but you also hang out with him, and other artists who keep their government names secret. You know things about him that nobody else knows. You have a deep understanding of the reasons for his sadness. You and only you have the ability to make Spooky Black smile. He feels comfortable wearing colors when you are around.


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8 comments
alexjarvis88
alexjarvis88

This is funny.  I like it.  Oh s#!t...did I just disqualify myself from being underground by saying that?  Oh well.  Being "Underground" is not really my thing even though I watched Aphex Twin get led out of a truck by Police at said party and met Richie Hawtin at Kurt's Birthday.  Damn!  Now I just dated myself as old, too!

btwftw
btwftw

What is "underground"?

LarryAltringer
LarryAltringer

I'm pained to admit that this list was actually pretty good.

Strong agree with the sentiments behind number 5. I just wish I could get through life without hearing another rap song by a blind albino or 6 foot tall white woman about how great it is to sit around and do nothing by a lake. 

MrShucks
MrShucks

If it doesn't involved a bike

Banquesha
Banquesha

@btwftw  Underground (adverb) : below the surface of the earth
(From Merriam-Webster dictionary online)

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