The 10 best songs by awful musicians

Jim-Morrison-the-doors.jpg
Via Wiki Commons
Stopped clocks are right twice a day. LMFAO are descendants of Motown Records founder Berry Gordy. Cher and KISS have combined for more farewell tour dates than most bands perform over their entire career. Keith Richards is still among the living. Some things you just can't explain, like how really shitty bands occasionally luck into recording splendid songs.

To wit, here are the 10 greatest songs ever recorded by not-so-great musicians.

See also:
Six punk bands we should shut up about already


"Apologize," One Republic
Ryan Tedder is a hit-making robot in the worst sense imaginable. Crafting melodies with the sole objective of charting, he's a pop-music panderer, whether for his own band or the slew of sellouts he produces for. But here's the thing about pop music: Bad as the listening public's taste can be at times, sometimes mass affection is warranted. "Apologize" is one of the times they -- and Tedder -- got it totally right. The song is reminiscent of Chuck and Blair locking eyes from across a crowded club in Gossip Girl. There's just nothing more emotionally gripping.


"Boogie in Your Butt," Eddie Murphy
This might be the most sophomoric song ever recorded. The lyrics -- clearly the fruits of an extremely inebriated green-room conversation -- consist of Murphy rapping about shoving a bunch of disparate objects that rhyme into a rectum. ("Put a telephone in your butt/ Put a dinosaur bone in your butt.") But(t), in a still-on-the-rise (this was '82) Murphy's hands, it's infectiously hilarious, and the backing band is funky, like Morris Day loaned Murphy the Time for the night.


"Demons," Imagine Dragons
Taking the baton from Limp Bizkit, Imagine Dragons seem to operate under the mistaken impression that relentlessly cranking everything up to 11 magically makes music better. Except on "Demons," where Dan Reynolds backs the verses into methodical Coldplay territory before the chorus explodes. Somehow it works.


"Alone," Heart
The Wilson sisters are rightfully hailed as feminist trailblazers in what was then a rock landscape completely immersed in testosterone. But that doesn't mean their music was any good. Yet on Heart's most powerful of power ballads, "Alone," all the melodramatic guitar-lickin' works, and the chorus' come-on is oh-so-steamy.


"Drops of Jupiter," Train
This song has been so mercilessly overplayed since it was released 13 years ago (!) that you'd be forgiven for considering it annoying. But that's not Train's fault. "Drops of Jupiter" could be 99.9 percent trash and it would still be redeemed by the amazing line, "The best soy latte that you ever had and me." But the tune, masterfully paced and lyrically ballsy, isn't trash. It's actually pretty good, unlike the balance of Train's discography.


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70 comments
itsnotme
itsnotme

Since "Everyone's A Critic" as the category says, here's my opinion: Mike Seely is a stupid piece of shit. 

Kenzie Higgins
Kenzie Higgins

I offically loose what little respect I had left for the City Pages. Do better guys.

Joe LaMere
Joe LaMere

The Doors??? Who is this D-bag think he is???

Shaundra Waabooz North
Shaundra Waabooz North

Mike seely(the author of this unforgiving article) ... you sir, are a moron. Awful artists?! Smdh. There's some classic and up-and-coming artists in that list. Idk your taste in music but according to this POS we all just read I bet its pretty AWFUl. Piss off with this nonsense. This list is only 40% agreeable.

Matt Kobow
Matt Kobow

I think I "liked" everyone's comments! The Doors are an amazingly under rated band that has more depth and talent than this ignorant "journalist" could ever probably even fucking imagine. Geez:/

Ryan Mann
Ryan Mann

I am flabbergasted by the photo of Jim as the thumbnail for this piece. Not even going to waste my time reading it if that's what I can expect.

Amy Rayburn
Amy Rayburn

Wow, City Pages what happened to you?! Are you effing serious with this shit?! Do you know anything about music anymore?! Heart and The Doors?! You're drunk.

Zack Hitz
Zack Hitz

Hahaha Mike Seely, you are a complete joke. Please quit writing. If your brain conjured up this shit you live in one wicked dimension of down right blasphemy. The fact that The Doors and Ashanti are mentioned in the same article is absolute bullshit. Get a life you troll buffet bastard.

bobob1916
bobob1916

Just utterly and completely stupid.  City Pages as usual.


Robb J. McNeill
Robb J. McNeill

Are you just trolling for angry comments? What a terrible article! The Doors deserve a lot more respect than this bullshit.

Jeff Skinner
Jeff Skinner

This was posted yesterday by Salon. I hope City Pages didn't pay money for this pile of shit. Mike Seely knows less about music with every article.

Nick Antinozzi
Nick Antinozzi

Oh boy... I feel dumber for having read this article.

Andy Pletcher
Andy Pletcher

Did southwire make the list? Wait...this isn't the current?

Zach Kern
Zach Kern

City Pages... Shame shame. Completely blew it on this one.

Briana Carnes
Briana Carnes

Aw jeeze, here we go again...Another awful article in this awful tabloid by an awful writer who has no idea what he's talking about. C'mon City Pages...

Derek Eaton
Derek Eaton

I feel the guy that wrote this has no clue at all. His explanation for the cheese all stuff is awful as well.

Chad Hagen
Chad Hagen

Wow. Now there is a "Jim Souhan of The City Pages". What a horrible article.

Andy Pletcher
Andy Pletcher

Yet another " 10 signs you have crabs" article by the city page. These lists are one thing and one thing only: poor and lazy journalism

Matt Jents
Matt Jents

I believe that the city pages are trolling all of us..and its annoying...the doors are great..UNliking city pages right now

Reid Diebel
Reid Diebel

Jim Morrison? I bad musician?? Who tf wrote this

Teresa Borgen
Teresa Borgen

Kelly Michelle Costello don't read this article...

David Hannigan
David Hannigan

"But with the Doors, we sort of knew they weren't that great." poetry critics don't like Jim but in any case...Bullshit

Rick McLean
Rick McLean

While I definitely agree that The Doors were over-rated I wouldn't say they were bad by any means. Even if I did say that, "Break On Through" is far from their best song and, like others have said, the rest of the band deserves way more credit than what they got under Jim's shadow. BUT, if you put that on the list just to see how many people would leave angry comments about the Doors then I'd say this was a great success!

Rickardo Ehman
Rickardo Ehman

Wha-WHAT? Heart & The Doors wrote some of the best rock tunes of all time! Mike Seely - what the hell, brah?

Matthew Martin
Matthew Martin

I know music is subjective. But this list and bad and you should feel bad.

Aderemi Babalola
Aderemi Babalola

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Nick Towery
Nick Towery

This is the most ridiculous thing I have read..favorite bad musicians. With The Doors included. Next is an article on the genius stage presence of Lorde.

Julie Rockin'Mama Djubenski
Julie Rockin'Mama Djubenski

Heart & The Doors,,BAD musicians..?? Good grief whoever wrote this must be waaaaay too young to appreciate GOOD Music or into stuff that really ISN'T Music like Rap, Electronica or Pop........

Bryce Otter Larson
Bryce Otter Larson

And what little cred you had is now gone. Putting The Doors on a list with Train. Lay off the coke, you hipsters.

Lee Thostenson
Lee Thostenson

did you guys delete your original post of this because the comments were too vicious? I don't see this round going any better...

John Rouner
John Rouner

Seriously city pages you fucking suck. How are you gonna say The Doors would have sucked without Jim Morrison?! Obviously you don't know shit about music. Ray Manzarek, John Densmore and Robby Krieger are some of the best musicians to ever play rock & roll!

Aus Tin Padilla
Aus Tin Padilla

This article should be "One of the 10 worst articles by awful writers"

Hoffman Humphrey
Hoffman Humphrey

The writer is a humanoid. No other explanation for the inclusion of the Doors on this list. Humanoid and fucktard.

wallee
wallee

I maybe would have taken this seriously, had you not compared the Doors to the Black Keys. Then you continued to bring up "Break on Through" as if that song was the only golden nugget in an otherwise heap of garbage.

Let someone else write the musical commentary maybe? Or dig a little deeper, friend.

MinneTransplant
MinneTransplant

This is soooooo Minneapolis, 1-dimensional in your appreciation for music, and anything that differs from your MN comfort zone.  Let me guess, your favorite band is Solid Gold or Trampled by Turtles. 

Punky Munrue
Punky Munrue

Anyone who doesn't like the doors can simply go fuck themselves. Hipster cunts.

Alex Anderson
Alex Anderson

Can't come up with your own articles so you take them from the Village Voice?

ForwardPride
ForwardPride

The fact that you don't like Heart and the Doors doesn't make them bad.  If you're going to write about the arts, ditch the solipsism.

Susan M Smith
Susan M Smith

Heart was/is amazing. Their tribute "Stairway.." to Led Z made me cry. "Drops of J" still makes me cry. Mr Seely needs to be knocked down a peg or two. But then, I'm 70 yrs old, so who cares what I think? Ha! Ha!

Ready_2_Mingle_69
Ready_2_Mingle_69

Holy Shit, purposeless article aside, this woman is a gem. I would follow her to the end of the world. 

God Bless You, Julie Rockin' Mama Djubenski.

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