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Sami Yusuf this shit is not.

Ostensibly intended as a recruitment tool, these misguided attempts at accessible propaganda are so uniformly awful, unlistenable, and terrifying that you can't help but laugh, or be left in shivers. Sporting eerie appropriations of gangster rap tropes (gunshots-as-ambience, violent braggadocio), footage of marches and infamous mujahadeen, and a truly bush-league Auto-tune, I'm left with the image of the sad sacks sitting solitary, whispering lyrics into a janky Packard Bell, tweaking levels, uploading to Youtube. Gauche.

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You know you're really famous when you get injured on national television and the entire country takes a moment out of their workday to watch a clip of it on YouTube and laugh at you.

At least that must be what Bret Michaels is thinking today, two days after his now-famous mishap at the Tony Awards. In case you haven't seen it -- or actually even if you have, because it's worth watching at least a handful of times -- here's a clip of the incident.
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Cedar Avenue's Global Village outpost, as photographed by tromasbronot.

The news broke in the predawn hours yesterday, in an ignominious, uninformative, but firm statement through their Facebook page-- Global Village, which has been situated on Minneapolis' West Bank for as long as University twenty-somethings can possibly recall, is closing its doors.

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