​Now, Therefore, I, George Bush, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim Monday, January 20, 1992, as the Martin Luther King, Jr., Federal Holiday.

Twenty-four years after his assassination on April 4, 1968, in Memphis, Tennessee, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was honored with a national holiday (except for a few reluctant states including New Hampshire, which took another seven years to officially jump on board), the only federal holiday to honor an African-American. More >>

Photo by B FRESH

​Tis the season for free mp3s! Our digital stockings have been overflowing this week with free holiday tracks, and today Maria Isa sent over a new track to help us flesh out our playlist with some swank and sass. Isa is offering up a track called "Santa Papi," her take on the classic "Santa Baby" that swaps out the traditional lyrics for lines like "Santa Papi, slip a spliff under the tree for me" and "Santa Baby, an '84 Cadillac too, light blue."

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​It's been a spell since we've heard any new material from Little Man -- he's been hard at work recording a new album in Ike Reilly's studio down in Chicago with producer Ed Tinley -- so we were excited when he sent over this new holiday-themed song, "Plan to Be Together."

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​For lack of a better word, sure--this mix is pretty hipsterish. But if you're sick of all that traditional crap that's been jammed down your throat since you were five, check out this mix of seasonal cheer--equal parts tongue-in-cheek and sentimental. Pair these songs with some homemade fudge and you can totally impress all your friends with your crafty (and thrifty, and clever) gift.

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​It's always fun digging through the onslaught of mail around the holiday season, especially when we get creative Christmas cards from local bands. Our favorite card to arrive so far this season came courtesy of satanic surf-rock band Lusurfer (who we profiled in City Pages last year), who donned hideous sweaters and even dressed up their creepy little doll for a holiday portrait.

The best part is the caption: "Lusurfer brings you a holiday reminder to say 'Thank you Satan.'"

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Flickr: greenmelinda

​So we're just a few weeks out from the biggest drinking, hardest-partying holiday of the year - St. Patrick's Day.

(Author's note: I should point out that St. Patrick's Day was formerly the number two biggest drinking, hardest-partying day of the year, until about three weeks ago when my wife informed me that "Tone Loc Day" is not an actual holiday. Thanks for stealing the joy from my life.)

Everything about St. Patrick's Day is awesome. You get super-toasted on green Coors Light (the official beer of Tone Loc Day), drink a bunch of McDonald's Shamrock Shakes and vomit in an alley while drunk chicks videotape you with their camera phones.

But while St. Patrick's Day is a day of celebration for most, it can be a day of pain and embarrassment for others. Every year on St. Patrick's Day there are those few drunk, dickhole meatheads who see this fancy holiday as their excuse to start fights and beat on some poor, unsuspecting dude next to a row of port-a-potties at a tent party in St. Paul.

Last year, I was that poor dude.

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​(Photo by Mykl Roventine)

Most of the following parties don't have fancy names. So if you are looking for a $100+ event named something like "Sparkle Glass Disco from Space: 2010 is 4 Realz," you probably want to skip this list. However, if you're looking for an affordable (read: free) New Year's party named "New Year's Eve Party" then you won't be disappointed with what you find after the jump. Check out our list and ring in 2010 for free. More >>

​(Photo by brokentrinkets)

Looking to enjoy some holiday music, theater, and dance on the cheap? Tomorrow is your chance to buy discounted tickets for a variety of shows and performances around town.
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whiskeygonebad

​Hey kids! Want to know a fun fact about Thanksgiving?

It destroys lives.

Thanksgiving is the single most dangerous holiday of the year. Every year, hundreds of families are ripped apart on a day that portrays itself to be all about things like "thanks" and "giving" and "interracial porn."

(Author's note: I know that interracial porn and Thanksgiving don't technically have anything in common, but there's nothing like some good interracial porn to help spice up a party! Amiright?)

Maybe it's being trapped with your entire family in a confined space for too long. Maybe it's the constant judgment being laid down by your parents while you're trying to help them with dinner. Or maybe you're just a bitter person who hates turkey (and likely, America) and chooses to displace anger on to everyone else at the dinner table. Whatever the reason, there is a good chance that sometime in the next 24-48 hours, you're going to end up in a kill-or-be-killed scenario with your family members, as the curse of Thanksgiving will undoubtedly cast it's evil shadow over your holiday get together.

Don't be a victim. Follow my survival guide and make it through this dangerous, delicious holiday in one piece. Time to bring the pain.

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Here's the tag line: It's a 120-year-old basement so haunted, you have to sign a waiver to enter it and ultimately lose your lunch all over the haunted-ass floor. And apparently, your mind might well come next. Being the fraidy-cats we are, we needed to see pics of this monstrosity before agreeing to risk what's left of our mental health in this the third annual freak-out made possible by local artists. Here's what we're in for. Should we not come back from it, we leave our CD collections to our mothers. More >>