10 Rock Classifieds That Changed Music History

Categories: Lists
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Eleven Seven Music
Guess which one of them answered a classified ad?

A few things you can easily find in classified ads: phone sex, apartment rentals, tarot card readers, telemarketing jobs, and a used Toyota Camry with low mileage. Look a little closer, and you might also find your path to rock 'n' roll glory.

OK, answering most musician classifieds won't automatically punch your ticket to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It's more likely to result in an awkward jam session at some stranger's residence with three dudes who are twice your age but only know one song all the way through.

Still, the seeds for many very successful bands were sown in the classifieds section. Here are some of them.

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The 10 Best Piano-Playing Rock Frontmen of All Time

Categories: Lists
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flickr/Heinrich Klaffs
Billy Preston performing in 1971.

Were it not for certain extroverts, rock 'n' roll piano players would be at a decided disadvantage.

Though a frontman who wields a guitar has the mobility to move about the stage and pose and posture accordingly, your average keyboardist is forced to remain in a stationary position due to the fact that your average grand piano isn't really made for portability. To compensate, certain showmen found a way to do gymnastics while using their pianos as a prop, one they can stand on, duck beneath, or somersault off, depending on their athletic prowess.

Call it compensation; after all, Elton John humbly named one of his bestselling albums Don't Shoot Me, I'm Only the Piano Player in an attempt to lower expectations. Regardless, here are the 10 best piano-playing rock frontmen of all time.

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The 20 Sexiest Songs of All Time

Categories: Lists
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EMI/YouTube screen grab
OK, D'Angelo might be on this list because of the video as much as the song

Sexy music is personal. What turns you on could be bedroom kryptonite to someone else. So compiling any list of the all-time sexiest songs is, inevitably, a highly subjective task. Are we weird to include Jack White, but no Marvin Gaye? Probably, but everyone's a little freaky when the lights are out.

Even if not all our choices give you the warm 'n' tinglies, we hope you find some fodder here for your future playlists. Let the seduction begin.

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The 10 Best Musical Moments on Parks & Recreation

Categories: Lists
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Screengrab via NBC
Not pictured: The Li'l Sebastian hologram

The offbeat workplace sitcom Parks and Recreation has always found humor in the dullness of government work, while also celebrating the world of music. From '90s hitmakers like Ginuwine and Letters to Cleo to indie-rock heavyweights the Decemberists and Jeff Tweedy to Pawnee's own Mouse Rat and Duke Silver, musical subplots were constantly on the horizon. Just think what the show might've been had the RZA been chosen to play Leslie Knope.

That's enough eulogizing, though, especially since there's still one episode to go. After making it clear that this whole thing is a massive spoiler alert, let's take a look at the 10 best on-screen musical moments in Parks & Rec history.

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The 10 Best Rap Lyrics About Hockey

Categories: Lists, Rap/Hip Hop
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Photo via Dreamville/Columbia
J. Cole wore an Alife hockey jersey for his 2014 Forest Hills Drive cover shoot.

Rap and hockey are two worlds that rarely collide. When it comes to punchlines, Gretzky, Lemieux, and Ovechkin all get less love than Jordan, Bird, and James. Shit, even Drake, the world's foremost Canadian rapper, is more liable to be seen on the Raptors sidelines than cheering on the Maple Leafs.

Rhymers are digging into NHL rosters, though. When they do, it's worth taking a few moments to celebrate. Here are our 10 favorite rap lyrics about hockey players. Call it two minutes for name-checking.

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Five Musicians Who Ripped Off Tom Petty

Categories: Lists
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Photo by Steve Cohen, slideshow here.
Tom Petty is laughing at all of you copycats.

Just last week, it was reported that pop singer Sam Smith had given Tom Petty a co-writing credit and royalties on his mega-hit, "Stay With Me." Thanks to the striking similarities of that tune to Petty's "I Won't Back Down," it has been impossible to ever hear one without thinking of the other. None of this is really a surprise, of course, since the 64-year-old Rock and Roll Hall of Famer is one of the most-copied rock musicians of the last four decades.

Let's take a closer listen to "Stay With Me" and four other songs that owe a considerable debt to the Tom Petty songbook.

See also:
Pop Music Plagiarism's Worst Offenses: A History

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The 10 Worst Duets in Pop Music History

Categories: Lists
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From the "Whatupwitu" video.
This is what a bad duet looks like.

Duets are supposed to be simple. Take a composition, divvy it up between two pop performers, and prepare to be wowed. Recently, though, the duet has been put through the wringer by washed-up stars hacking it up alongside other celebrity singers, searching for a hit. With apologies to several great musical pairings, the duet has often become a gimmick.

For proof we offer this: The ten worst duets ever. Let us know about your least favorite duets in the comments.

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The 10 Most Underrated Drummers in the History of Rock

Categories: Lists

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Jean Fortunet/wikimedia commons

With all the real injustice on the streets -- and in the courtrooms -- of America currently, you might consider it trivial to examine 10 drummers who deserve more credit and attention than they've received. And you'd be right. But music is, if nothing else, a way to make sense of this wicked world through pure release; ostensibly, music geekdom -- enjoying and dissecting -- is a meaningful part of that release.

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Six Spots to Put Taste of Minnesota in 2015

Categories: Lists
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Photo by Tony Nelson
Where will food-loving music fans and music-loving food fans find themselves in 2015?
A Taste of Minnesota is currently homeless, and its prospects are not looking great at the moment. After flooding last year forced the revived food and music fest to exit Harriet Island for Waconia about 40 miles away, organizers have been looking at other options for the 2015 event.

According to the Pioneer Press, citizens of Baytown Township (about 20 miles east of the Twin Cities) weren't interested in hosting Taste at the Washington County Fairgrounds. Organizers say other locations are being considered, but Gimme Noise has consulted all of our geography reporters just in case.

Here are six spots where A Taste of Minnesota could relocate in 2015.

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Five Signs You Might Be a Shitty Rapper

Categories: Lists
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Bettina Braun/Flickr
Wiggity wiggity wiggity wack.

Ever since dance music decided to overdose on molly, the only respectable alternative for pop music lovers is hip-hop.

With that said, we're sorry, hip-hop, but we have to start holding you to a higher standard. You don't want to end up like EDM, do you? Trust us, you don't.

Fix up, look sharp. You're pretty sloppy. So please, take a real hard, close, honest look at yourself. And if you're guilty of one of these five symptoms of wack-hackery, well, do the Gandhi and be the change you wish to see in the world. The future of music depends on you.

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