Mitts full of money
Just how rich is Mitt Romney? Allowing the passing physical resemblance to Gordon Gecko, "very rich indeed," we'd assume. Here's a helpful mathematical equation by which I tend to assess these things:
Rich < Super Rich < Scrooge McDuck < Holy Fucking Shit Rich < Bill Gates Rich
Mitt Romney is Holy Fucking Shit Rich, as this visual representation of the candidates makes painfully clear. None of these people are hurting, and they'd all be able to play Kristal Pong with me at the City Pages Mansion Off Washington Ave. But Romney's wealth leaves me wondering whether the Machiavellian Mormon might be better off just straight up attempting buy votes, and then bribing the underpaid public servants charged with arresting him for same.
The image makes my stomach churn a little bit, but it gets funnier when I imagine Romney rebuffing Mike Huckabee by saying this in Chappelle's Show fashion.
Also, Dennis Kucinich's image in that graphic is actual size.