GOParty Cards' savings to be spent on whiskey, hookers
The card will offer the expected 45,000 visitors to the Twin Cities special discounts at participating businesses from August 23 until September 7.
"The Republican National Convention offers a major opportunity to showcase the metropolitan area and beyond," said organizer Cindy Lasher. "Look, I don't like their politics any more than you do, but there's some major bling to be fleeced off these hicks."
Area sex workers are getting in on the act as well, banding together to create what they are calling GOPanty Cards. Among those expected to participate are "Horny Asian Housewife Getting Tired of Masturbating" and "Christi" a "blonde and busty chick" who has "no time for a relationship" but plenty of time to post naked pictures of herself on the internet.