Bob Novak + Prince = Lyrical Gold

You've probably heard by now of conservative columnist/black-souled gremlin Bob Novak's, uh, run-in with a homeless pedestrian last week in D.C. (An accomplished fiction writer would be hard-pressed to conjure a more fitting metaphor.)

Jokesters over at Chicago's The Beachwood Reporter penned this little ditty about the ordeal. (Sung to the tune of Prince's "Little Red Corvette.")

I guess I shoulda known By the way you spout your nonsense That you'd hit-and-run

See you're the kinda person
Who drives fast at 10 a.m.
And hates pedestrians

I guess you had to run
cuz u had to meet with sources
Use them and also get used

But it was broad daylight
You were in plain sight
And the Prince of Darkness doesn't lose
And Bobby I say

Little black corvette
Bobby you're much 2 crass
Little black corvette
U need a source who's gonna last

I guess I shoulda closed my eyes
When u drove me 2 the place
Where your sources run free

cuz I felt a little ill
When I saw all the pictures
Of the sources who were there before me

Believe it or not
I started to worry
I wondered if I had enough crap

But it was broad daylight
I guess that makes it alright
And u say, baby, let's give the liberals gas
Oh yeah

Little black corvette
Bobby you're much 2 fast, yes u r
Little black corvette
U need 2 find a source who's gonna last

A reporter like you (a reporter like you)
Oughta be in jail (oughta be in jail)
cuz u verge on bein' obscene
(cuz u verge of bein' obscene)

Eat little babies (eat little babies)
Out secret agents (out secret agents)
And spread the lies of the Republican machine
(and spread the lies of the Republican machine)

Little black corvette
Bobby you're much 2 fast
Little black corvette
U need 2 find a source who's gonna last

Little black corvette
Honey u got 2 check facts (got 2 check facts)
Little black corvette
You whore yourself out for loads of cash
Little black corvette right in the ground

(little black corvette)
Write down what they want (honey u got 2 write down)
U, u, u got 2 write down (little black corvette)
You're schmoozing much 2 fast (2 fast)
U need 2 find a source who's gonna last

Boy, u got a racket like I never seen
And your rap . . .
I say your rap is so smooth
U should drive a limousine

Bobby you're much 2 fast
Little black corvette
U need a source, u need a source who's
Who's gonna last
(little black corvette)
U got 2 write down (u got 2 write down)
Little black corvette

cuz if u don't, cuz if u don't,
U gonna run your column right into the ground (right into the ground)
Right into the ground (right into the ground)
Right into the ground (right into the ground)

Little black corvette

Speaking of political figures/Twin Cities-spawned musical legends juxtapositions, here's independent candidate for Minnestoa's 3rd congressional district David Dillon's take on "Subterranean Homesick Blues." (Warning: if you're a hardcore Dylan fan, be prepared to throw up a little in your mouth.)


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