Nader - Kilmer 2008!

Alright, so back in 2000 Ralph Nader was all the rage. He convinced plenty of folks that Bush and Gore were the same dude. He filled areas with his cynical campaign speeches. Hell, Eddie Vedder opened for him. He was the shit of the millennium.

And then, well, gullible humanities majors discovered he was flat ass wrong.

But somehow this dude doesn’t quit. And he still draws semi-famous people to his speeches. On September 4, Nader will hold some sort of super-rally at Orchestra Hall in Minneapolis. Though we don’t know for sure, we’re guessing the Republicans, who love this guy, sponsor it.

D-rated celebrities like Ike Reilly, Jello Biafra, Nellie McKay, Val Kilmer (Ice Man), Tom Morello, and Cindy Sheehan could make an appearance.

From a quick glance of this list it seems like Nader has wrapped up the critical support of pissed off mothers and dudes who make funny sounds with their guitars. He also gets the military endorsement by including Iceman on the ticket.

Actually, Iceman could be the one who tips the scales in Nader’s favor, as he appeals to both fanboys and Jews. Most folks know about Iceman as one of the forgettable Batmen, but few remember his starring role as Moses in The Ten Commandments: The Musical.

Okay, so Kilmer is still pretty much dope. But Kilmer shouldn’t be running around the nation campaigning for a hopeless loser. He needs to stay in our dreams, prancing around in cut-off denim.