Hamfisted Political Analysis...

The comedian, Steven Wright, once said in a performance something like, "I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards; I got a full house and four people died."

From CNN.com:

KASSEL, Germany (AP) -- A German computer expert being tried for murder after he confessed to killing and eating a man shows no signs of mental illness, a court-appointed expert has testified at his trial.

Klaus Beier, a psychotherapist and sexologist based at Berlin's Charite hospital, told the Kassel state court Monday that defendant Armin Meiwes' fascination with cannibalism had developed from an early age and Meiwes, a loner, had seen it as a way of "being close" to men.

Also from CNN.com:

ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) -- A 6-year-old girl was found dead in a motel room with a broken back Monday after what police said may have been an exorcism.

Two adults were arrested after they and two children were spotted on the street naked in the freezing cold.

The adults, who had been staying in the motel room, were charged with cruelty to children, public indecency and obstruction of police and were taken to a psychiatric ward.

You think I'm done quoting CNN.com?

DES MOINES, Iowa (CNN) -- Rep. Dick Gephardt, a distant fourth-place finisher in Monday's Iowa caucuses, where he once had been considered the man to beat, has decided to drop out of the Democratic presidential race, CNN has learned.

A Gephardt aide said the candidate would speak to supporters Monday night and then planned to return to St. Louis, Missouri, where he is expected to withdraw from the race Tuesday.

Not surprisingly, cannibalism isn't illegal in either Germany or the Democratic Party. Once thought a haven for organized labor, the donkeys have all but ditched their forefathers, and left them wandering naked in the true freezing cold of Iowa, wondering why they backed a prune-faced square from Missouri. Dick Gephardt is exactly the kind of union toady ward healer that should have been exorcised from the Party years ago, but has hung around like the anonymous Humphrey in Minnesota, who springs from some St. Paul wood-paneled office every year to run for lieutenant solicitor general or some other made-up office created by the thieves during his ancestor's original tenure.

There have been numerous articles written on Clinton's legacy to the Demo party, but everyone is afraid to just come out and say what it is. Karl Rove and the Republicans were smart enough to realize that if Americans are going to elect a Republican, they want a Reagan clone: tell it like it is, never admit you were wrong, and if accused or indicted, sacrifice an underling. Towns like Des Moines, Mason City, and Ames are overrun with people right now, fresh from door-knocking and message delivering, but it's all a bunch of substantive nonsense. If Americans are going to elect a Democrat, they want sex and Rock n' Roll. Clinton stayed up all night playing poker and practicing his saxophone. THAT is an everyman, a normal Joe, the guy you warn to stay the hell away from your daughter. People who marry ketchup widows, captain their debate teams, and crank up internet based campaigns based on the bold motto "I'm not Bush," simply miss the point.

Edwards may have guaranteed himself the leverage he needs to be the ticket VP come November. In the next two weeks, expect Lieberman to learn the same lesson taught to Gephardt today: no thank you. Kerry has all the momentum now, and the only thing that can derail him are the squirrely little campaigns being run by Dean and Clark. He has to out-sex these guys over the next few weeks, because the freakish nature of their gigs already has the tease built-in.

And throughout all of this, regardless of how you intend to vote in November, keep in the back of your mind what is spinning in the evil little head of Karl Rove. Teresa Heinz Kerry is a walking time bomb of sorts for this campaign. As the fiery daughter of a wealthy Portuguese family from Mozambique, and brilliant graduate of the University of the Witwatersrand in South Africa, she's never been beholden to anyone, least of all, her shaky husband. She knows she'll be worth a half a bill come 11-2, regardless of whether the war hero gets the fancy 1600 Pennsylvania address. Her penchant for the quotable quote will be priority one for the striped red tie operatives following the Kerry's from town-to-town, should he emerge the candidate of choice. No matter who says it, under what context, "let them eat cake," always sounds bad, and typically portends the sharpening of the blade.