So I reached into the glovebox/Another liquor store went down...

From CNN.com:

ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) -- When two men walked into a popular country store outside Atlanta, announced a holdup and fired a shot, owners Bobby and Gloria Doster never hesitated. The pair pulled out their own pistols and opened fire.

The armed suspect and his partner were killed. The Dosters won't be charged, according to local officials, because they were acting in self-defense.

"I just started shooting," said Gloria Doster, 56. "I was trying to blow his brains out is what I was trying to do."

She said she tried to open the register, but one of the men told her she wasn't moving fast enough and tried to shoot her husband. He missed -- and his gun jammed.

At that point, Bobby Doster pulled out a .380-caliber handgun and shot one of the suspects. Gloria Doster then went for a 9 mm pistol she keeps near the register.

"All hell broke loose," she said. "I was trying to shoot and dial 911 at the same time."

If "Trying To Shoot and Dial 911 At The Same Time" isn't the name of a million selling Country album, I'm not sure what is.

As is always the case, some point I've been trying to make for days, months, or even years, ends up being made for me on some excursion I make into a club as an afterthought. One of the little arguments I've been reiterating for the past couple weeks has been that the local alt country/roots rock/Americana scene is fueled by country kids in the big city incorporating their life experiences into a gritty twang sound of sorts. It's rough around the edges, maybe slightly misguided, certainly drunken, but there's no doubt about its roots: Northern hillbillies.

Last night, after a fine walleye dinner, I stumbled into The Five Corners Saloon because I'd heard about some half-assed listening party for The Drive By Truckers first two albums, which were re-released by New West Records; and, because Alan from The Spokes called me from the ice of Bald Eagle Lake during last week's show, to tell me that he was playing a bluegrass type gig there with something called 9 Mile Creek.

So about halfway into their set, the mandolin player points at the guitarist (who's wearing his carhartt bibs on stage because he just came to the bar from sleddin'), (who also happens to be an Asian kid who grew up on a farm in Wisconsin, drinking, smoking, and taking his old man's combine for joyrides), (who also happened to have built the guitar he's playing), and he says, "Tony just bought the baddest fucking chainsaw ever made, a Jonsered...," and Tony chimes in saying, "yeah fuckin' 30 horsepower, a real lumberjack sumbitch...," and then Jeremiah comes back with, "but ya gotta watch the kickback or you'll get fucked up!" So then they launch into a bluegrass song about Tony's new chainsaw. "Watch the kickback or you'll get fucked up" turns out to be one of the lyrics.

I mean, really, why not?

Guys like this are bright spots on the local club scene because of their unbridled enthusiasm, and because of the way they incorporate their lives into their music, and vice versa. They don't get up on stage to sing about how George Bush/Bill Clinton/The Orange Wave of The Ukraine is ruining their future, they're there to sing about their new chainsaws. I'll move heaven and earth to support stuff like that.

While we're on local music, will somebody tell me who gave Jim Walsh permission to write a glowing review about MY "hipper-than-thou" local darling, The Gleam? I mean, I go out of my way to pick something so bad, it has to be good, and the dean of music critics in this town steals my thunder. I feel like a kid whose favorite local baseball player is the utility infielder who only gets "late inning defensive" playing time, and the neighborhood bully just stole his baseball card from me. Oh well, as Zach of The Gleam is fond of saying, "Love the Goddamned Gleam."

Jack's Top Ten Country Gun Songs to Celebrate Your New Chainsaw To

1. "Cocaine Blues," Johnny Cash

2. "Nine Bullets," The Drive By Truckers

3. "Hallway," Richmond Fontaine

4. "Desperate Times," Charlie Robison

5. "One Ball Billy (live)," The Flametrick Subs

6. "El Paso," Marty Robbins

7. "Only Hell My Mamma Ever Raised," Johnny Paycheck

8. "Other Shoe," The Old97's

9. "Tougher Than Leather," Willie Nelson

10. "John Hardy," Uncle Tupelo