Git 'er done...you ass

"But they aint done with him. Because, see boy, this farmer still has his his culture and that scares them; his roots, based in independence, even rebeliousness, his countriness if you will...so what do they do about that? Well that's where them multimedia corporations step in...they begin to bombard their...their new company man with caricatures and stereotypes of hisself...Gomer Pyle, Dukes of Hazzard, Beverly Hillbillies, Hee Haw, so on and so forth til finally he can't trust his own reality...he don't know what it is no more. He starts ACTING country instead of BEING country, until one day he'll...he'll...he'll be like a...like a Scotsman who puts on his kilt once a year to celebrate his Scotishness. Until finally this man, this farmer who once worked on the land, and with the land, can be controlled so he won't question his purpose making rivets or working in front of a computer screen from 9 to 5 for five days a week for 40 years until he gets downsized and dies...or worse...takes his severance pay and retires to Branson, Missouri."

Larry the Cable Guy, before he decided he was the "Git her done" guy (thanks Corey)

I'm enjoying the comments on the Top 100 Country Songs of All Time. The Blotter, the greatest research service on earth, dug up the above damning piece of evidence against the biggest piece of shit in the "Country World," and for that, I'm eternally grateful. If you want Country humor, go get a Ron White record; he's the dirty stepchild of the Blue Collar tour, the filthy one...in other words, the guy who's real. If your porch collapses and kills 3 dogs, you might be a redneck, but if you tell your brother-in-law you bought a van with a couch in the back so you could fuck his sister, well, you're country.

Anyway, an immediate gut reaction I have to some of the comments, is that I work off of a mental family tree when it comes to Country Music. That is to say, I look for things that I believe ARE country, and dismiss things that are people ACTING country. To that end, maybe what I'll do in response, rather than a new Top 100, is a Jack Sparks Country Family Tree...a genealogy of country...a musical spectrum.

What's readily apparent is that roughly 90% of the shit coming out of Nashville is people ACTING country, because of people like Mick Anselmo, Ed Benson, and Buddy Cannon...selling an idea, a product...a kilt so we can all be Scottish for a day...or many days. Fuck those people. And fuck Larry the Cable Guy, you phoney bastard. Don't come to my city ever again, fuckwad.