Buy this car to drive to work, drive to work to pay for this car

Wow, a whole month without posts! I think that's a record for me. But as some acquaintances can attest, I've been busy, not to mention unusually stressed for someone as cool as me. Anyway, here are some things I've been meaning to tell you.

1) For wonderfully realistic fake blood, mix non-dairy creamer, red food coloring, a few drops of blue, and corn syrup. And if you cut up Fruit-by-the-Foot strips and let them soak, they'll fall apart and you've got--tada!--clotted blood. The drippy chunks look great hanging out of a zombie's mouth. I know it's a week late but earmark it for next year.

2) It's a good thing I'm not a guy because I'd never be satisfied with any woman who isn't Emily Haines*. At Metric's Ascot Room show, she gave off this uninhibited, sassy vibe that reminded me a bit of Karen O. Although with Emily, there's little chance that she'll spit beer on you. And I like that.

*I suppose I could settle for Anna Waronker, Jane Wiedlin, or Jenny Lewis. But other ladies need not apply.

3) I need a car. It would help me see shows at the Turf Club (and, really, anywhere in Minneapolis during the winter months when I don't feel like biking/bussing). Got any tips? Let me know.