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Jerry Bust

Filed under: Imported

It's not very often that you get to witness one of the wealthiest men in the world being humiliated and robbed on national television. But that's exactly what transpired on last night's Travel Channel dispatch from the World Poker Tour. The victim of this prime-time crime was Los Angeles Lakers owner Jerry Buss.

First a word for those of you horrified to see the words "poker" and "television" in the same sentence. I first found myself watching televised poker on Thanksgiving night of 2000. I'd made the mistake of insisting that it didn't matter if I spent the holiday alone, even turning down turkey-day dinner invites from Roland Amundson (don't ask) and my blonde-haired, six-foot-plus, dairy-farming relatives in Wisconsin (again, don't ask). So by nine that evening I was half drunk on cheap red wine, wallowing in self pity, pining for my late grandmother's flavorless stuffing--and watching Texas Hold 'em on ESPN.

This tall, scrawny, scraggly haired guy was thoroughly decimating the competition. Every time an opposing player would bet, the scraggly haired guy would stare at him with a look of disgust so profound that you'd think the guy had been caught slipping tongue to a corpse. This staredown would continue for minute after excruciating minute, until I could hardly stand to watch the TV screen. Then suddenly, without hesitation, sensing some sign of weakness or strength in his opponent, the scraggly haired guy would bet or fold.

All night long he never missed a call. Somehow--darting eyes, trembling lip, sweaty brow--the guy was able to read his opponents as if their cards were displayed on their foreheads. It was fascinating cutthroat psychological warfare. 

Now back to last night's televised garroting of Mr. Buss. The tournament took place in Los Angeles. Therefore plenty of B-list celebrities were on hand to banalize the proceedings: Dom DeLuise, Meat Loaf, Kato Kaelin.

Fortunately, the only Hollywood type who made it to the final table of players was Buss. Through luck--and stubborn refusal to bet unless he had the stone cold nuts--the multi-millionaire was one of the last two players standing. Unfortunately for him, the other guy with chips remaining was Layne Flack, a 30-something South Dakota native and two-time winner at the World Series of Poker.

What ensued was not pretty. From the outset Flack remorselessly antagonized Buss, daring the 70-year-old to bet and then ridiculing him when he did. The most astounding aspect of this display of chutzpah was that Flack's luck was absolutely atrocious. He consistently had crap cards: 7-4, King-2, 8-4. Yet he bet and bet and bet--and bet some more. More importantly, with this unceasing show of bravado, he induced the visibly flustered Buss to repeatedly toss out winning hands.

The end result was never in doubt, but Buss held on for an excruciating hour. Watching him fidget and fret was like seeing a seven-year-old go into meltdown at a piano recital.

For those who enjoy scrutinizing rich people in agony the episode airs again Saturday at 1 p.m. on the Travel Channel.  

Posted by Paul Demko at June 5, 2003 6:31 PM

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