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Troy Needs Prozac!

Filed under: Imported

Perhaps there's an upside to the fact that nobody attends A League playoff matches. On Friday evening, in Milwaukee, roughly seventeen people were on hand (the announced attendance was 1,927, but that figure is most definitely horseshit) to witness the Minnesota Thunder and Milwaukee Wave United soccer match. As a result, my little band of intrepid football geeks (all seven of us), camped out behind Milwaukee's goalkeeper, became absurdly entangled in the proceedings.

There's some history here. My cohorts apparently have long taken perverse pleasure in heckling Milwaukee's Dusosky brothers, Troy and Todd. There's a few reasons for this: a) The Dusoskys are originally from Anoka;  b) in 2000, at the end of a playoff contest between the clubs, Todd punched former Thunder player Morgan Zeba (admittedly a nasty cuss), instigating a bench-clearing brawl; c) Troy is notoriously thin-skinned.

Soon after the opening whistle, the catcalls began: Troooooy! Trooooy! You suck Dusosky! Pass it to your brother Troy! Pass it to your special buddy Troy! etc.

Now this is utterly harmless (and, granted, extremely juvenile) stuff. Comments of this stripe--and much, much worse--are commonplace at American sporting events of all kinds (and probably anyplace where more than fifty males gather in one place and drink beer). Generally, though, such bilious comments are drowned out by the roar of the crowd. On Friday, there was no crowd to roar. Every comment could be heard--even by Troy Dusosky.

A few minutes into the game, the defender turned to our group, put his index finger to his lips, and angrily shushed us. Naturally, rather than quiet my fellow Thunder fans, this move simply inspired them. That knucklehead is actually listening! My tribe began exclusively heckling the dimwit.

Apparently Dusosky is not the only Milwaukeean unfamiliar with sporting etiquette and the First Amendment. A diminutive Asian fellow seated nearby began vehemently insisting that we were somehow "cheating" by taunting the defender. This fellow then proceeded to bizarrely and repeatedly challenge one member of our group to a fight. Being marginally more intelligent beings than Dusosky, we ignored the man.

The culmination of this ridiculous interlude arrived shortly before halftime when the Thunder were awarded a corner kick directly in front of our seats. Naturally, the chorus of Dusosky heckling increased exponentially. "You're still my bitch Troy!" one person screamed. This comment was apparently too much for Dusosky. Just as the ball was about to be put into play, Troy turned to our group and began screaming. I couldn't make out much of his mad sputterings, but his last statement was, hilariously, "Show some class!"

Unfortunately for Milwaukee, this outburst precluded Dusosky from actually playing defense and could've easily cost his team a goal. But the ball was cleared harmlessly away and the Wave went on to win the first game, 1-0.

The crowd for Sunday's match in Blaine was slightly larger (announced at 2,649--again horseshit) but still anemic. That said, the Thunder supporters put on an impressive display of Troy Dusosky bashing, denigrating his intelligence, playing ability, alma mater, mother, father, and countless other aspects of his life.

Perhaps I'm naive and idealistic, but I would've guessed that Dusosky might've learned something from Friday night's experience--or at least been chastened into good behavior by his coach. This was not the case. Minutes into the match, the defender was once again wagging his finger angrily at the bleacher degenerates. Then he proceeded to--quite classily--flip us the bird.

(In fairness, I should point out that Dusosky did manage to control himself in the second half, despite relentless hectoring. And he actually played a fine match, at one point thwarting a Thunder breakaway with a dangerous, goal-saving tackle.)

But it was the Thunder's day. Johnny Torres put the team on top to stay early in the second half. A Milwaukee midfielder misplayed the ball straight to Torres and he calmly slotted it into the back of the net. At the end of regulation, the aggregate score from the two games was 1-1. Overtime. Just two minutes into the extra period, Johnny Menyongar sent a beautiful 40-yard pass over the top of the defense. Torres corralled it with one touch and again blasted the ball into the back of the onion sack.

Thunder advance. The Dusosky Brothers--and their Milwaukee teammates--are done for the season.

Minnesota will take on the Seattle Sounders in the semifinals this weekend in another home-away series. Sunday's return match in Blaine takes place at 4 p.m.

Coming later this week (provided I can get my butt up to Blaine tomorrow): a Q & A with Thunder coach Buzz Lagos.

Johnny Torres

Posted by Paul Demko at September 9, 2003 6:54 PM

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