September 2004

« August 2004 | Main | October 2004 »

More Misguided Political Musings

Filed under: Imported

Will Colorado be this year's Florida?

Colorado's ballot will contain a measure that lets citizens decide whether they want to dole out electoral votes proportionally, rather than on a winner-take-all basis. (Currently only two states--Maine and Nebraska--have some form of proportional allocation.) The most recent poll shows a majority of voters supporting the change in election law. If passed, the measure would take hold immediately--and could swing the entire election.

Consider the 2000 election. After everything shook out in Florida, this was the final electoral count: Bush 271, Gore 266. In Colorado, Bush won by a margin of 51 percent to 42 percent. Under the old system, Bush took all eight electoral votes. 

Now consider if Colorado had delegated its votes proportionally in 2000. By my calculus, Bush would have gotten five electoral votes, while Gore would have received three. The final tally under this scenario? Gore 269, Bush 268. Florida would have been irrelevant. We'd be deciding whether to re-elect President Gore.

But the reason I say that Colorado could be this year's Florida is because the matter may ultimately be decided in the courts. Here's a snippet from a recent MSNBC story on the ballot initiative:

Even if it wins, the measure is certain to be challenged in the courts due to questions about its constitutionality.

Article II of the Constitution says "Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors."

Right now the state seems to be a toss-up.

Posted by Paul Demko at September 30, 2004 6:12 PM

 

Tommorow's Conventional Wisdom Today

Filed under: Imported

Despite Matthew Dowd's hilarious attempts to, quite literally, portray John Kerry as the next Cicero, nobody expects a goddamn thing from him in tonight's "debate." So long as Kerry doesn't put down Jesus or speak French, the spin coming out of the debate will be that he more than held his own against the folksy Texas sod slinger. Then we'll have countless idiotic stories (like this one) in the days to come about what a great "finisher" Kerry is--whatever on earth that means.

The media pooh-bahs are increasingly desperate for a Kerry comeback. They're terrified at the thought of an electoral blowout. It makes them feel so insignificant.

Posted by Paul Demko at September 30, 2004 12:18 PM

 

LNW! Correction: All Is Not Wrong With The World

Filed under: Imported

The New York Times reports that, since 1992, annual garlic consumption has increased from 3/8 of a pound per person to 3.1 pounds.

Posted by Paul Demko at September 29, 2004 12:51 PM

 

Score One For The Johns

Filed under: Imported

Perhaps all the hyperventilation from the British tabloids was warranted after all: brothel regular and $68-million wunderkind Wayne Rooney netted an astounding hat trick in his Manchester United and Champions League debut today.

Posted by Paul Demko at September 28, 2004 4:03 PM

 

The Dirty South

Filed under: Imported

Posted by Paul Demko at September 25, 2004 12:04 PM

 

Rare Victory for Organized Labor

Filed under: Imported

Workers at the Minnesota Beef Industries plant in Buffalo Lake voted to join United Food and Commercial Workers Local 789 today. The margin was 53-46 in favor of unionizing.

It was the second time in recent months that the roughly 125 slaughterhouse employees, the vast majority of whom are Hispanic, have voted on the issue. In May, the workers rejected unionization by a margin of 67-32. But the plant was orderd by the National Labor Relations Board to hold a new election after it was determined that the company violated labor laws by threatening to fire or deport union supporters.

I've posted Local 789's press release.

Posted by Paul Demko at September 24, 2004 3:03 PM

 

Buffalo Lake

Filed under: Stories

Posted by Paul Demko at September 24, 2004 2:36 PM

 

Team W. Throws a Bone to the Isolationists

Filed under: Imported

Robert Novak's column yesterday was an extraordinary heap of b.s.--even by his standards. 

For those who missed it, Novak posited that immediately after the election the Bush administration will implement a rapid withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq. By this time next year, according to Novak's "sources" (none of which are named naturally), there will be no American troops in Iraq.

Now this is extraordinary because it runs completely counter to everything that's ever been publicly uttered by Team W. In fact, it's basically the Dennis Kucinich position.

The most hilarious graf in Novak's column (although it was extremely difficult to choose) is the one where he attempts to come up with some supposed intellectual justification for rapid withdrawal:

Getting out now would not end expensive U.S. reconstruction of Iraq, and certainly would not stop the fighting. Without U.S. troops, the civil war cited as the worst-case outcome by the recently leaked National Intelligence Estimate would be a reality. It would then take a resolute president to stand aside while Iraqis battle it out. (My italics).

In other words, it would be an extraordinary act of courage for President Bush to stand idly by as Iraqis slaughtered each other in a fit of sectarian violence. I guess, by this reasoning, President Clinton and the U.N. displayed great fortitude by ignoring the slaughter of 800,000 Rwandans in the mid-90s. Perhaps Novak's next column will be a salute to the courageous world leaders currently averting their eyes from the genocide in Sudan.

But my main point is this: Robert Novak is full of hooey. There's no way the Bush administration is going to rapidly withdraw from Iraq. Such a plan would fly in the face of everything the neo-cons believe. It would undermine their entire worldview. All those cute theories about democracy and the Middle East that Wolfowitz dreamed up in the 90s from his ivory tower at John Hopkins University would be rendered irrelevant. This won't happen. These people never admit they're wrong. They've drank too much of the Kool-Aid.

Novak, as usual, is being used by Team W. as a convenient mouthpiece. My theory is that they're floating this notion of a withdrawal to appease the increasingly disgruntled isolationist wing of the GOP, as personified by Pat Buchanan. These folks are appalled by our actions in Iraq, but there's little chance they'll vote for John Kerry. They might, however, just decide to cool their heals at home on election day. This is the administration's disingenuous attempt to get them back on the bus.

Posted by Paul Demko at September 21, 2004 1:48 PM

 

Dancing to a Bad Beat

Filed under: Imported

Posted by Paul Demko at September 20, 2004 3:58 PM

 

Poker

Filed under: Imported

I've been down in Hastings much of this week watching the murder trial of Thanh "Tony" Quan Tran. It's a fascinating case, ripe with sex, gambling, and violence. Tran met Laura Xiong out at Canterbury Park. They gambled and screwed and ran up huge debts. Then they allegedly conspired to kill Xiong's husband for an $850,000 life-insurance policy.

Speaking of Canterbury, the Fall Poker Classic gets underway out there tomorrow. There are 15 events over the next two weeks, with buy-ins ranging from $100 to $1,000. The big event is the $1,000 buy-in, no-limit hold-em tournament, with $100,000 in payouts guaranteed.

I'm a little too poor to properly participate. But I'm going to head out there tomorrow morning and see if I can win my way into an event or two via a $40 satellite tournament.

Posted by Paul Demko at September 17, 2004 12:03 PM

 

Free Advice for My Fellow Liberal Bloggers

Filed under: Imported

Would you people please stop insisting that the CBS documents are legit? You're making fools of yourselves. They're forgeries. CBS fucked up. Take some of your own advice: Move on.

Posted by Paul Demko at September 16, 2004 6:12 PM

 

The Revolutions Starts ... Never

Filed under: Imported

I'm swearing off politics. I don't care anymore.

Yes, Bush is horrid. Yes, Kerry is the most embarrassing, inept Democratic nominee in my lifetime.

Who cares. Not me. As long as they stay off my lawn everything will be okay.

Why can't we live under a benign dictatorship headed by Jon Stewart? Or Jon Miller? Either would make a fine dictator.

From here on out, I'm only reading Maxim and P.G. Wodehouse. I'm only watching baseball on the TV. I'm going to spend all my afternoons playing frisbee football. My only goal in life is to acquire gout--multiple times.

To paraphrase Shane MacGowan when I saw him at the Fleadh Festival in the summer of 1996 (the only intelligible words he spoke the entire show): "Fuck George Bush! Fuck Tony Blair! Fuck 'em all!"

Posted by Paul Demko at September 10, 2004 12:18 PM

 

Patriots, Laborers, Rapists, and Sugar

Filed under: Imported

1. Desrosiers and others have started a new lefty blog--New Patriot. (I propose they mud wrestle the Northern Alliance folks to see which presidential candidate gets Minnesota's electoral votes. Screw democracy. It's too hideous.)

2. New Labor Blog

3. Sex offenders form one of the largest subgroups of criminals in prison, and I myself have had several of these men as cellmates over the years. Locked in a 7-by-12-foot concrete box with the Ausleys of this world, I have learned to distinguish some character traits they have in common. Rapists, for instance, tend to be angry and insecure, whereas pedophiles show a marked inclination to be timid, fearful, and dishonest.

4. Bitter Sugar

Posted by Paul Demko at September 8, 2004 6:30 PM

 

Labor Day

Filed under: Imported

Posted by Paul Demko at September 7, 2004 3:29 PM

 

Footyball

Filed under: Imported

The Thunder begin the post-season this evening in Vancouver at 9 p.m. CST. There's no radio or TV coverage. It's a two-game, home-and-away series. The return leg is 6 p.m. Sunday at The Jimmy. Whichever squad scores the most goals advances to the semifinal round. The teams split the regular-season series, each winning twice at home.

The Thunder will have to overcome a serious handicap if they are to advance: three of the team's forwards will not be available owing to Liberian national team duty. Most significantly, the Thunder's two leading scorers--Melvin Tarley and Johnny Menyongar--will be missing for both games. Between them the Liberian duo have accounted for 13 goals--or nearly half the team's total. The Thunder's attack has been fairly anemic all season, averaging just over a goal per game. And on the road they've been woeful, managing 8 tallies in 13 matches. Someone--David Castellanos, Marco Ferruzzi, Jeff Matteo--will have to step up.

Luckily this team's forte all year has been defense, with 14 shutouts in 30 matches. If the back line, led by indomitable central defender Dustin Branan, can frustrate Vancouver tonight, the Thunder should be in fine shape.

See y'all at The Jimmy on Sunday.

U.S.A. v. El Salvador: The kind folks at The Local will once again be accommodating us soccer geeks for this World Cup qualifying match. Game time is 3 p.m. Saturday.

Posted by Paul Demko at September 3, 2004 2:26 PM

 

DBTs

Filed under: Imported

"I turned on the news a week after Reagan died and the fucker was still on the TV," spits Mike Cooley, Hood's bandmate and friend of almost 20 years. "It shouldn't have come as any surprise, though. The people who got rich enough to run that shit did so while he was in power. I'm only surprised they didn't just roll on up to his coffin and suck his dick."

Posted by Paul Demko at September 2, 2004 3:28 PM

 

Soon to be Glue, Vol. IV

Filed under: Imported

The racing season ends on Monday out at Canterbury Park. I'm making what will likely be my last trek out there this evening. Generally I avoid night racing. Something about it doesn't seem right. I like to watch the horses out in the paddock, soaking up the sun. There's also this: the last time I went to Canterbury in the evening two of the horse I bet on failed to even finish their races.

I've had tremendous success this year out at the track. I cashed my first ticket in more than two years: a $5 win bet that paid out $11.50. And I can't recall a single one of my horses suffering drastic injury or death during a race. This is progress over previous campaigns.

But I'm not optimistic about tonight's gambling prospects. I'm thinking of betting nothing but longshots. My fellow degenerate gambler Judd says he would have collected $2,500 if he'd followed this strategy last Sunday.

If ...

Posted by Paul Demko at September 2, 2004 10:58 AM

 

Three Things

Filed under: Imported

The new Rilo Kiley album is a dangerous narcotic. It has a more nefarious impact on my driving skills than alcohol. Yesterday I drove right past my destination while lost in "It's a Hit." Today I almost plowed head-on into an old Toyota while mesmerized by "A Man/Me/Then Jim." Jenny Lewis is one seductive force. No more DUIRK for me.

997. Mary Cheney forced to stop eating pussy for most of Wednesday primetime slot. 

Los Lobos at the State Fair. Tonight. Free.

Posted by Paul Demko at September 1, 2004 2:17 PM

 

« August 2004 | Main | October 2004 »