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What Ever Happened to All That Great Footy Content on LNW!?

Filed under: Imported

St. Paul City Council member Jay Benanav introduced the following resolution at yesterday's meeting:

WHEREAS, a number of nettlesome problems have existed in Saint Paul for many years, causing thoughtful people to ask, "Why do bad things happen to good cities?" and

 

WHEREAS, an independent authority, specifically the editorial board of the Saint Paul Pioneer Press, has finally offered a rational, well-researched answer, placing blame for Saint Paul's irksome spate of bad luck squarely on the shoulders of three-term councilmember, City Council President Kathy Lantry, and

 

WHEREAS, President Lantry has been cited by the Pioneer Press editorial board for the recent departure of the one of the world's leading stem cell researchers from the University of Minnesota, which, though Belgium's gain, is indeed Saint Paul's loss, and

 

WHEREAS, the Pioneer Press has also laid blame for the public budget crisis at the feet of President Lantry, faulting her priorities, which include ensuring that all the city's emergency vehicles have functioning axles, and

 

WHEREAS, on further reflection, we would be remiss not to recognize myriad other Saint Paul catastrophes, for which President Lantry is to blame, which include, but are not limited to:

 

 —  The 2004-2005 Minnesota Vikings' incredibly bad defense, which led to yet another heartbreaking football season; and

 

—  SPAM, that annoying, unwanted email that clogs internet e-mailboxes; and

 

— Signs of aging, such as gray hair and wrinkles, which President Lantry promotes at City Hall (and at the Pioneer Press) by her relentless pursuit of adequate city services for her constituents, and

 

 —  The recent snow emergency, costing the city of Saint Paul $10,000 in notification costs; or if you're a skier, snowmobiler or outdoor enthusiast, the dearth of snow in Saint Paul this winter, and

 

 —  Recent household plumbing problems which led to a family argument on Tuesday, Jan. 18, 2005, at the home of City Councilmember Dave Thune; not to mention

 

 —  Potholes, barking dogs, the high cost of pharmaceuticals, traffic congestion, global warming, the NHL lock-out, and the increase in the Saint Paul deer herd.

 

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that the City Council acknowledges that, despite the disasters and difficulties raining down upon us, President Kathy Lantry, like the rest of us, was duly elected by her Ward 7 constituents, and be it further

 

RESOLVED, that the City Council will do everything in its power to neutralize the impacts of President Lantry's dedicated service to the City of Saint Paul. 

Posted by Paul Demko at January 27, 2005 5:11 PM

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