Fred Flintstone

I was reading through some criminal complaints at the Ramsey County Courthouse this morning. One of them involved a DUI arrest shortly after 1 p.m. on July 1st. The woman had plowed into a parked vehicle on Hawthorne Avenue on the East Side of St. Paul. She promised the vehicle's owner that she'd pay for the damages and then returned home.

When the police arrived at her residence a few minutes later the woman claimed that she was busy entertaining wedding guests in the backyard. Among the purported guests: Fred Flintstone.

The woman was charged with DUI and a slew of other motor-vehicle-related crimes. She'd been convicted of DUI at least 5 previous times in the last 15 years.

Stories such as this one are why I'm taking a bus to Kansas City tomorrow morning. I don't want to find myself explaining to some Missouri cop at 2 a.m. that Fred Flintstone--rather than myself--was responsible for plowing the car into a dumpster in some god forsaken strip mall parking lot.

I'll be joining roughly 45 other jackasses on the bus to watch the Minnesota Thunder eviscerate the Kansas City Wizards tomorrow evening in the quarterfinals of the U.S. Open Cup. The Thunder's league season has run completely off the rails. This is all they have left to play for. Hopefully their conduct on the field will reflect this fact.

The Wizards are probably playing better than any other MLS team right now. But they'll be without their two best defenders (Jimmy Conrad and Jose Burciaga, Jr., who had the distinct honor of getting humiliated in Madrid today) and their most dangerous forward (Josh Wolff, injury).

C'mon Thunder